I’m not gonna do it…. I’m not gonna do it….

I promised I wouldn’t talk about dating on my blog, because it makes dates paranoid. And so I promise I still won’t talk about dates on my blog. BUT I am in a situation where I have at least one person who likes getting flirts from me, and maybe someone else to hang out with which could be a date or maybe she just thinks I could be a neat friend I don’t know but she’s super cute. And then there’s someone else who asked me on a date and then vanished so who knows what is up with that, if she will ever show up again. Hello??? ANYWAY I feel a bit more positive about dating these days. I’m still technically a single person, so that’s fine. But I feel like there are some dates coming, or at least hang outs with cute people. AND better yet none of these people come from OKCupid, except kind of one, who disappeared. Maybe she will return. I deactivated my dating profiles though because I got sick of advertising on there. Now I just post cute selfies on Instagram.

MOSTLY I just want to get to know people these days and feel cute. BUT ALSO I’ve kind of put aside this pressure to find The One, the Perfect Person who is gonna be my partner FOREVER. I think right now I’m just kind of exploring what chemistry I have with people and if I feel safe and trust them then having some fun sexy times. I don’t know what’s gonna happen to me anymore. I do know I’m tired of waiting for the stars to align to have the kind of sex I’ve been hungering for.

I kind of know EVENTUALLY I’m gonna end up in a relationship with someone who genuinely wants to build it up to something serious. But for now I’m just trying to maintain my curiosity and openness towards cute smart kind people. Cause it’s kind of heavy if I come out on first dates going “I WANT A BABY AND A WIFE!” it makes people panic. Which is fine, it’s a scary thing to ask for commitment and first dates are not the time for that anyway. Like there are some steps to get to that point. And I know some dates won’t get there, and that doesn’t mean I don’t still want some cute good times with them.

Speaking of babies, I’m also moving into Phase 2 of Babymaking this year, which is banking sperm from my donor for Future Baby. I still need someone to be a gestational surrogate, or a reciprocal surrogate who is my partner (whoever that is but I won’t tell her about this on the first date at least!). But right now we need to do this whole long process and because of Canada’s wonderful semen regulations he has to have his sperm go into quarantine for six months. Which is a fucking drag. BUT ALSO I am pretty sure I won’t find someone who wants to be impregnated before the quarantine is up ANYWAY. So fucking complicated. SCIENCE BABY! I’m relieved the donor is still interested in letting his DNA live on in some Lesbian’s baby! ALSO Yeah I know it sounds like it should be easier, BUT MY UTERUS DOES NOT WORK remember. Otherwise this would have been way cheaper and quicker.

ANYWAY with frozen sperm and eggs, I will hopefully be able to make a new being in the future who has good looks, a great sense of humour, a cute sarcastic personality, and is smart and kind. And who doesn’t have to save the world, they just have to be a good person who feels community responsibility like I do and like my Mom does.

And hopefully after dating some people for a while, I’ll have a solid foundation with someone who wants to do The Thing with me and have a life together. BUT right now I just want cute sexy times with interesting good people.

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