There’s a heatwave here. Like, so hot. SO HOT!
I went to Vancouver for the Queer Arts Festival, which was AWESOME and Paul Wong was the moderator of the roundtable I was on and asked some really tough questions I had to think about. AND called me a Video Art Superstar which was SO flattering especially coming from him! So it was good! And I saw old friends and a friend who has moved away from Toronto and had good times.
It was my first time being there as a sober person, so that was interesting, but also my friends weren’t heavy drinkers anyway so it was fine.
OMG I wrote this last night and never bothered finishing because I got distracted by a Kat Blaque live feed on fb.
And then I think I sweated and went to sleep.
And I woke up this morning and had a cool bath and felt human again.
And that was three hours ago and I went and did some errands getting toilet paper and medication and treats and NOW I am all sweaty/sticky again.
OMG so yesterday was GST day and I got not one but TWO Cinnabons and it was so good!
Ugh some little girl dog squeezed an anal gland around here and it REEKS! 🙁 Grosssssssss!
ANYWAY (later in the night, again!) I have been trying to make grown up plans today.
This kid thing is still nagging at me. I don’t want to have a kid alone tho, but I am exploring potential options. And there was an article today about how a foster agency in Ontario is doing placements of LGBTQ youth with LGBTQ affirming families/caregivers. So I went to their site and bookmarked it and am thinking when the time comes to start a family, or open up my life/my partner’s life to caring for a dependent, to possibly explore that route. Because ever since I was a teenager I thought how awesome it would be to be a foster parent for an LGBTQ youth. So many of our youth end up street involved through familial rejection and abusive homes and stuff, it would be a really good thing to provide some maternal love to someone who might not get positive interactions in the regular foster care system either.
And then I saw an ad that let me find out my credit score, which I found out isn’t that bad, it’s considered fair, and I am in the right range to be considered a low risk to be approved for a mortgage (but obviously I need a job to manage one!).
So I was doing all this grown up daydreaming. But I mean really the things I need RIGHT NOW is a partner and a job. It’s all very well to dream of mortgages and LGBTQ kids, but considering I don’t want to HAVE kids alone, I need to have someone fall in love with me (and love them back) first before all that can happen. AND I need a job before I go condo hunting. AND I need a place with at least two bedrooms before I go looking for someone to foster or adopt or sperm for my future partner’s eggs. IT’S SO COMPLICATED!
But really, honestly, I just need a job first. I worked last weekend shooting some video, which was a good gig, but not an ongoing one and I need to do something that brings in more money over a longer time. There’s some sessional jobs at OCADU I was thinking of applying for, for the fall and winter. I have applied there at least twice before but never got an interview. BUT I guess I will apply again. All the sessional jobs are asking for people with PhD’s or working towards their PhD’s but honestly I know of people who do not have PhD’s working in these departments so I know it’s not NECESSARY it’s just what everyone is asking for now since there are so many masters out there.
So this weekend I am gonna work on that job application. And I am gonna work on this video game for the rest of the week. And my script. Because I gotta get that shit DONE yo!
But really I wish I was going on dates and making out with someone in their car or something. I have been having so many naughty day dreams about sexy times and it’s a little distracting, although good to know that my sex drive is normal (because sometimes it isn’t! Which is related to meds! But this med I am on is good!)!! I mean, everything works. Yay.