I don’t know how long I didn’t have much of a sex drive, my libido was gone a LONG damn time. I might be inclined to say it was diminished significantly for two years. Anyway, the other day I was on the bus, and I was thinking all these sexy thoughts, memories of things in the past, fantasies of things in the future. And it was driving me INSANE! I was missing kissing and sex SO DAMNED MUCH! I wanted my mouth on nipples and pussies and feeling girls from the inside with my whole hand and being filled up and humping and all kinds of things! I was going NUTS!
So I was telling my cuz Deanna today “I don’t know what’s going on with me, I want sex and kissing and it’s making me INSANE!” And she said “Maybe your libido is back!”
And I think she is right!
So on one hand I want to be all “YAY! I am horny hear me roar with wetness too great to ignore!” On the other hand *womp womp* I am single. Terminally single. And there’s nobody on the horizon. I even went to Take Back the Night hoping for some cute girls, but then I felt like a 35 year old OLD person. So many politically aware girls doing their undergraduates. And I feel too old for them. So womp womp.
I keep scanning OK Cupid and Plenty Of Fish but it’s the same folks on there and I don’t really get that spark. Then again, it’s hard to tell if there is a spark just from someone’s online profile. You sort of need to meet.
Anyway, I was hoping to go to Indigo Girls and see a bunch of local lesbians, but I never got a ticket so I am out of luck because it’s fricken sold out! And now I am poor again anyway since I paid my rent, groceries, phone bill (2 months of phone bill), got toiletries, 6 pairs of new socks, an iTunes card, fake beer, and some glow in the dark nail polish. Tomorrow I should get some cash though, because I wrote an article for a local paper. I hope! I also have an honorarium coming up from the University, and GST comes on Friday. AND I have to get in a travel grant on Tuesday for going to ImagineNATIVE!
OOooooh! Maybe I will meet someone in Toronto! That would be nice! I could have sex and get all hung up and have longing in my life again! And skype sex! Which I have never had so you know, there are always new things to look forward to!
I’m so tired. I should go to sleep soon so I can engage in some stress relief before I am too tired to do anything. If ya know what I mean.
Side note: I have discovered in the past two weeks that my sense of smell has improved since quitting smoking almost a year ago to the point that body odor REALLY bothers me. I mean seriously. SERIOUSLY! Some men are SOOOOOOO stinky! And some perfume is too rank! It’s starting to make me want to go for a walk instead of riding the bus. For some reason it is always the bus that is the worst!