I am the Narwal, Coo coo ka choo!


I have always wanted to go narwal watching, the unicorns of the sea. So cute! I am thinking of saving up money for a trip to go see them. I don’t know when, maybe 2010? I know 2012 my Dad and I want to go to the Mayan ruins and see what happens. I hope we still do that, I’ve never traveled with my father. I mean, we’ve both been in certain cities at the same time for art related reasons, but we’ve never taken a trip together. At least, not since I was very small.
And my memory isn’t so good from when I was that small.
But back to traveling. When my Mum and I were in Wick we saw some Puffins flying and making the cutest noises, and also standing on a rock. It was amazing, Puffins! They are also cute!
Whenever my family and I would go up north to the cabin my Grandma would get out her Field Guide to North American Birds and she and my Mom would identify which birds they saw and talk about them. They also do this with plants.
I do this with the paranormal. What type of hauntings, types of UFOs, wondering if Chupacabra is real and if so if it is an alien or some military experiment gone awry.
I also like to talk with people about various psychiatric medications, what they look like, what they do, what was your favorite and what really sucked.
Back to the Narwals. I remember once in Elementary school we got pieces of yarn and taped them to the wall to show how long types of whales were. I remember being suitably impressed by them all. And I always giggled at the Sperm Whale. The poor Sperm Whale.

My cousin Luke once wrote a paper for school whose first line was “The common vole is not a mouse it is a vole.”
Voles are pretty cute. I have a soft spot for rodents.
The cutest thing I have ever seen was when I was reunited with my lost hamster William. He was in my backpack when I was outside and when I got home he wasn’t there anymore. And I cried and made a poster the next morning to find my hamster when I found a sign that said “Found: 1 White Hampster.” I called the number and walked across the apartment complex where I found my sweet William with GINOURMOUS cheeks! He came home and spent the next half hour pulling bread crusts out of his cheeks. They can pack away a lot of shit man! That’s intense. I wish I could hide food in my cheeks, that’s a handy trick. I was in grade two, in case you were wondering why I made such a bad error in regards to thinking a hamster would stay in a backpack.
My interest in identifying wildlife reminds me to tell you about this book you should buy called Lesbian National Parks & Services: Field Guide to North America by Ranger Shawna Dempsey and Ranger Lorri Millan. I’m the lesbian bottom in the lower vertebrates section! It’s a pretty funny book and has practical lesbian information for life in the bush!

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