Trying Not To Think About It

I think I need to write a press release or something before any media organizations are going to be interested in me being in the Whitney Biennial. And it kind of sucks. I hate writing press releases. And I feel like there were so many press releases about it anyway. But no news organization or magazine or anything has asked me anything about my involvement. And it feels like a big deal and people keep telling me it’s a big deal but I’m just you know, still that weirdo queer NDN who no one knows what to do with. I don’t know. UGH I hate writing press releases. PAY ATTENTION TO ME! Ugh. And it’s not like I’m hard to find, this blog and website are the first things that come up when you google me.

It feels like people should just be interested in writing about me on their own. But I guess no one is. And it kind of sucks.

Art careers are so weird. There’s this whole cult of personality that goes with artists and I dunno, maybe I do too much art for free or something. Like this blog. Like a bunch of videos I made with no grants (one of which is going to screen at the Whitney Biennial in September). Like people are always being “Make sure you get paid for your work” but to be honest if I’d waited for grants I wouldn’t have even started my career back in the 90’s. And I am still underpaid now for a lot of things. I’ve decided I’m not talking in classes for less than $150 though, because I am so tired of it.

ANYWAY I actually did make a whole new video this week, which is a fucking relief and weight off my mind. It still needs editing, but at least it’s done for my performance at CFMDC next Friday April 5. At nine pm! Be there! Anyway, I have a bunch of videos to make this year and that was one of them. I also need to finish my video I got an OAC grant for, and another video I got a TAC grant for. And another video I want to make in response to some things. So I guess that means I got three more to do this year? I can do it! I need to do some serious writing. I have some script rewrites I gotta do too. SO that’s a whole thing.

OH FUCK NO there’s another video I am making! I just forgot about it! I have a phone call with the producer later for it. SO that brings me up to what? Four! Five altogether if you count the one I just finished, cause I still actually have to edit it down a bit more before I put it into distribution. OH MAN.

I mean it’s really good I am making so much work right now. I am glad I am staying on top of it. And I feel like it’s been helping me grow as an artist every time I work on a new project. And I’ve been figuring out some ways to fix my script while I work on unrelated projects.

HA HA HA OMG! SO I just got an email from Canada Council that I didn’t get my big grant. Which is fine and all. It’s just a bummer and another year of poverty. I can apply for another grant right away I’m just not going to apply for that one again with that project. I don’t know what I’ll apply for.

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