Christmas Cheer

It’s Christmas almost. I don’t have a lot of feelings about Christmas this year. It’s fine. We are gonna make some cookies. I feel like last year was such a quiet Christmas that I am probably gonna get overwhelmed with the family stuff this year.

Anyway, I’m almost done knitting my dog’s sweater. I’m not sure it’s long enough though. I wish I could try it on her. She might have her butt hanging out. BUT ALSO it’s just an indoors sweater for when she is chilly. I’ve learned new skills making it, like wrap and turns and short rows and knitting in the round with both double pointed and circular needles. So it’s good to have those skills, I could make socks now! I think I am gonna try and make mittens with thrums next. Or Newfie mittens. We’ll see. Perhaps just regular mittens.

I’ve got exciting work stuff coming up but it’s all secret right now so I can’t talk about it. I mean there are a few things happening. It’s pretty cool though and makes me look forward to 2019. I’m kind of bouncing up and down with anticipation when I think of it all and I am hoping it boosts my career.

I’m still single. Which is fine. I have been on four dates the last year and I have met new people and some are sort of friends and some just kind of faded back into the crowds of Toronto. I’m trying NOT to talk about dating but also dating is weird. I wish I could run background checks on everyone now because yeahhhhhh not everyone has the best of intentions.

I’m feeling better about my rule of not having sex on the first date though. It’s been keeping my ass out of trouble. I used to fuck like RIGHT AWAY because I had low self esteem and thought that would be the only way someone would want to hang around with me. Which is super depressing when I think of it. But now I’m kind of feeling that someone has to prove they have good intentions and are a good person. And that they recognize my worth, because some people just do not and they can go fuck off honestly.

Anyway, that’s probably the least interesting thing about my life right now.

I got a Toronto Art Council grant which is exciting! I’m going to make a short about this medicine bundle that was in my family which helped us survive colonization basically. So I am gonna be working on that. I also still have to shoot a video I got money for last year from the OAC.

I’m excited about life I guess. I’ve been doing a lot of knitting and reading here in Saskatoon. I read Vivek Shraya’s “I’m Afraid of Men” and now I am reading Lindsay Nixon’s “Nîtisânak.” I also have three other books I got to read. They are all pretty slim books so I feel like I can read them all the next few days.

It’s this thing where I’m like obviously a storytelling type of artist, but I don’t read enough, and I don’t watch enough films or television shows. I made a resolution once to watch more film and read more books, but I failed. BUT I am working on it! I CAN DO IT.

What I tend to consume is music, surprisingly. It’s hard being at my Mom’s house because she always has the tv on and it’s pretty boring, and at home I am always listening to music. And yeah I will get stuck on certain songs listening to them over and over. But it helps me work through feelings and ideas. Anyway, this last year I finally started seriously practicing my ukulele with our band, and it’s been nice to feel like I am engaging in making music. We are doing covers, but maybe someday we can do original songs.

I’m feeling good though. There are things I’ve done this year that have been good for me. I will probably write a more expansive look at the last year closer to new years.

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