Manifesting!

Ha ha omg, so the things I wanted from my last post actually happened for me. I got that job I applied for! It’s a job I had a long time ago, back in Vancouver but they have an office here, and is like, such a day job kind of thing, not related so much to the art community, which is good really because I need a break from that. And I’m gonna work three days a week, and have time to keep doing my art stuff, and technically I could work more hours if I want I guess. So it’s exciting!

Also some other money is coming in from an art project, which I can talk more about at a later date. But that’s like, dribs and drabs, and mostly not for me, it’s for a production.

And then also I found out a grant I co-wrote with someone came through, so that feels pretty good. It’s not for me to make work tho it’s an organizational project grant. But I’m feeling happy that we got it, because sometimes I feel dubious about my grant writing skills. Even tho I get quite a lot of the grants I apply for, comparatively.

Also I had a meeting with Ontario Works this morning. I was gonna cancel, because I had got the job the day before or whatever. But they said it was part time and since it would be awhile before my first pay cheque they could probably help me out for now. And there’s this employment start up benefit they give people who are just starting jobs. Which I am gonna use to get a metropass. So they were all ready to help me out but then they needed me to have a bank account based in Toronto, and even tho mine is connected to my address here, the branch itself is in Saskatoon. Which hadn’t been a problem before, but was a problem now. And I had therapy this afternoon, which made me not able to get an appointment at the bank until after 4pm. But I moved my bank account and got my direct deposit form into Ontario Works, but it was late in the day by then, on a Friday, so I will probably have to go in on Monday and get a cheque. I’m hoping that I make enough money that they will kick me off Ontario Works soon though, because ughh it is such a drag. And then I had to update some things like my PayPal, so that money goes to my account and not to an account that doesn’t exist anymore.

I kind of feel bad that my bank account got closed, just because I used to be able to see my history, and now there’s nothing! I can’t see when I had money, or when stuff usually gets automatically withdrawn, etc. It’s just a deposit of 3.97 or whatever I had left in that account. And some money someone e-transferred to me to get me through the weekend. Kind of like having my existence erased, it’s so weird. At least it happened before I started work, because I have to go bring a direct deposit slip in with me for my paycheques.

Anyway, I’m glad I’m gonna have a regular income again, it’s such a relief. Someone sent me a job posting for a six month contract job, but I’m not really interested in giving up a regular ongoing job for something so short. I kind of want a job that has some longevity to it. And Toronto is notorious for contract work. Something like 50% of workers here are working contracts.

I remember when I was younger, I sometimes landed these cushy jobs with like, long range potential. Okay, only once did I have a job like that. Like it was the kind of job people do until they retire with a really nice pension. And for all kinds of reasons I was really leery of it, like that scene in the Simpsons where Mr. Burns puts up a sign in Homer’s work area saying “Don’t Forget, You’re Here Forever.” OMG! Ha ha ha omg. But then again I was way younger, like early 30’s, and in a city I didn’t want to stay in forever, and other complications were at work. But also that kind of commitment was really scary at the time. Now, it’s not so scary. I don’t think this job comes with a sign saying “Don’t Forget, You’re Here Forever” but I can see myself doing it for a nice long while.

I mean who knows tho. I haven’t had my first day yet. I remember how it was, but that was at an office in another city. Over ten years ago. Things will probably be very different. And I have fundamentally changed in a lot of ways since then. And I am also very aware that this is what I am going to do so I can pay my rent, bills, and groceries, and maybe have enough to go see concerts now and then. Like my motivations are pretty specific, and I’m doing it on more of a part time basis than when I originally did it. And it’s not gonna make me rich or anything, especially not working part time. But it will get me used to working again in a more traditional work environment, and have structure, and I can handle the pace of it, and I think it’s gonna be good for me to only do it three days a week. So I’ll have two days I can concentrate on my art practice, and the weekend for whatever. It’s good! And hopefully the dogs will forgive me for being gone three days out of seven.

I am hoping between this job and artist fees, I’ll make an okay living. I’m not gonna be rolling in dough or anything. But I should have enough I don’t have to worry so much, which is nice. And there’s still a serious long range job I want to apply for in the future, that I might actually have a good shot at. But even that if I did get it, doesn’t start for months and months.

So things are looking up. And I hope I will get that office Christmas party, those are my favourite. I just like sitting around with co-workers eating meats and cheeses and watching someone act silly. Ha ha I don’t even know if this company will do one of those.

I hope I like my new job. I hope they like me. I hope I do well.

And I hope I can maintain my artistic practice at the same time!

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