Well. I’m not exactly sure what to write, but obviously I have to address that Donald Trump won the fucking American election and his followers are terrorizing anyone who’s not a straight white cis man. But Jesus, I don’t really have a lot of great advice. To be honest, I didn’t think it would come to this. He is so clearly inept, cannot string together a coherent sentence, never held political office before, and has gone bankrupt multiple times. I’m poor and in a lot of student loan debt, but I’ve never gone bankrupt. No shame to those who have. But he’s done it multiple times. He doesn’t pay contractors. He built his base on racism, homophobia, sexism, Islamophobia, transphobia. Hillary said his base was made up of deplorables and then the media shamed her and she had to walk it back, but it’s true! There are Donald Trump supporters on twitter gloating about how now they are going to sexually assault women because it’s okay!

So it’s been a real rollercoaster of emotions for everyone. In particular people who are not straight white cis males. I don’t have a lot of spoons for dealing with this. The morning after the election I managed to get to a talk I had to do at U of T, and aside from that I’ve really just been sitting around on my ass at home reading horrifying articles, posting snarky gifs, and avoiding life.

But today I kind of pulled myself together, went out into the world and got something to eat and some stuff for the dogs. Tomorrow I am going to Montreal for the NWSA conference where I am speaking about Indigenous feminist masculinities. I feel a little unprepared, I need to do some printing tonight. I’m gonna see my friend Robin tomorrow for the first time since 2012 or something, and she’s like, my best friend, so I am excited to see her. I’m gonna be there until Monday.

Little Mister has been getting ANOTHER round of antibiotics, because he still has a cough. He has good and bad days, but I think he’s going to stay alive while I am gone for the weekend, so I am not too worried. He has a dog sitter who used to be a veterinary assistant. Posey coughed once two days ago and never again, so I think she did get what he has and fought it off.

It’s really hot in here, I had the heater on but it wasn’t necessary. The weather has been odd in Toronto. It’s Remembrance Day tomorrow and still snow hasn’t fallen.

I’m trying to practice crush etiquette by pretending I am not super into this woman and it’s kind of ridiculous and I feel so phoney trying to be cool and ending up looking awkward and silly. Maybe I’ll meet someone else in Montreal who actually wants me to be awkward and ridiculous. Because this being cool thing is not working. Maybe (probably) she is just not into me and I should give up. AHHHHHHHH fuck I hate everything.

And then I was in a good mood today, and making jokes, and feeling kind of cool, but then I’m like “But Thirza, the world is going to hell and the deplorables have won and jesus even Leonard Cohen died today, you should feel AWFUL! Shame shame!” And I did feel awful, yesterday. But I feel better today. So I was all wondering “Am I going Manic? OMG! Am I going to start writing 30 emails a day again? Am I going to try and overthrow the American government or something in a psychosis?”

But you know, I think there’s a reason I’m in a good mood. I think it’s because the people appalled at the new President-Elect and what he has already done to the USA and the world are ANGRY, and in anger there is power. I really do feel like there is a rumbling momentum of the non-deplorables who could keep each other safer. Not SAFE, just, maybe we can look out for each other. Maybe we can unite and build alternate societies.

There was an attempted rape at the Oceti Sakowin Camp (Sioux pipeline protestors) and the leaders held a kind of trial and banished the perpetrator and walked him out of camp while yelling his name and what he did, and then handed him to the women who cut off his braids, and then sent him down the road where some officers were going to pick him up and deal with him. It was such a simple, elegant, traditional way of dealing with sexual assault. I actually found it really inspiring, taking justice into our own hands and not tolerating shit like that.

Can that kind of action happen elsewhere?