So I finally clued in that Little Mister, my long haired dachshund, wasn’t just randomly clearing his throat then gagging up nothing. He’s been coughing. And when I looked it up, it sounded a lot like kennel cough, which was confirmed when I took him to the vet today. They said he was contagious and made sure he wasn’t in the common area for very long. He’s got antibiotics. The funny thing is today he hasn’t coughed once. I don’t know if he just finally got over it, or if the antibiotics are working already. But he’s in high spirits, we went for a walk with Posey and he had a good time. I’m so glad I had the cash to take him in. Being dead broke with a sick dog is the worst.

It’s actually been a good day for my own health too. I faced my anxiety about a bureaucratic thing and made a phone call, and it wasn’t so bad. I had enough energy to clean the house, and not just a shallow clean but a SERIOUS thorough cleaning. Like wiping underneath things in the kitchen and throwing out and recycling and all kinds of stuff I haven’t had the spoons to manage. I swept the stairway finally! So much dirt! I cleared piles of things. I did the basic stuff too, like sweeping and washing floors. But it’s finally such a nice space to be in.

I just have a pile of laundry to sort and the basic bathroom cleaning left to do. And if I can clean the fridge out tomorrow too it would be perfection. I’m pretty happy about it. I didn’t know where this energy was coming from, because for so long I’ve only been at about a 6 out of 10 in energy levels. Now I would say I’m at a 8. BUT not manic energy, which would be anywhere from 11 – 20 and way too much. But then I realized it’s been about 5 weeks of upped antidepressant. And I kind of felt it was making a difference, but today really felt a lot better compared to five weeks ago. The anxiety is way more manageable and not so crippling, and although I don’t feel like a giant smiley face rolling down the street, I do feel more clear and content. And things are more enjoyable. Like I am super getting into my music again, which was kind of all blah and grey for a while there. Not making music, just listening to it.

I feel like I can let things go easier. Not like, serious things, like not paying bills or rent or shit like that that would just cause trouble. More like being slighted by people or having crushes that are just useless cause the other person isn’t into it or even just regular rejection that comes along with being an artist who has to submit to things or compete or whatever and not always “winning” or being selected. My FOMO is a lot less. I’m happy being alone with my animals at home. It’s pretty good. It’s not like I DON’T care either though, which is also a not great thing.

Anyway, Mom comes tomorrow to spend two weeks with me. It’s gonna be interesting to see how that goes. We’re doing ImagineNATIVE and then at the end of the month, the Art Fair, and in between some hanging out and eating cool stuff I guess. I think we might go to the Farm. Pupwalks. She’s bringing her beading so she’ll be doing that. I have a talk in a class to do next week and also a few shifts at the Edition Fair at the end of the month. But aside from that it’s hanging out with Mom and trying to squeeze in writing.