December 5th at 1:25am my Grandma breathed her last breath.  My Uncle Doug and Auntie Pauline were by her side, and my cousin Lorne and his family came over and walked the body out to the hearse.  We got the news right away, had a cry and went back to sleep as well as we could.  I was exhausted from spending the previous night awake with her, so I slept pretty well.

There were a lot of things we had to do and still have to do.  But because we were expecting it, a lot of planning was done beforehand.  We viewed her body in the funeral centre the same day. She looked beautiful. She didn’t have make up and she wasn’t embalmed, and she was in a pine box with a cotton shroud like she had wanted.  She was wearing her glasses and her engagement and wedding rings that she had always worn.  She was in her favorite red sweater.  They had really good lighting, so she looked like she was still a bit pink.  The family gathered and cried and told stories about her life. Grandpa was out of the hospital so he finally got to see her, and I was glad he was able to get out in time for the viewing.

Tomorrow is the wake, then the memorial on Monday at 2pm. I’ve been having highs and lows and grumpy periods and sad periods.  I feel good that she died a natural death and went to a good place and was surrounded by loved ones.  And she had a good life.  And a good husband.

I am gonna miss her a lot.  But being with her near the end and feeling the pure love we had between us as Grandma and Granddaughter, it felt really good.

I thought I didn’t have a copy of my Homelands video on this computer, but it turns out I do.  So I fixed the sound and am compressing it and tomorrow I am going to make a DVD for people to watch at the wake if they want to.  Not many people in my family actually saw it.  And it’s nice to hear and see Grandma again.

I should get to bed.  I was gonna make lemon meringue pies for the wake, but I think that was too ambitious.  And today was Kristjan’s fifth birthday, so we had a little party for him, and were busy a lot of the day.

And anyway, why not take a break?  I have been doing so much these days.  And I need a little contemplative time to think about life and Grandma and stuff.  And dammit, that’s ok!