Friday the 13th

At my call centre job, calling Americans. Someone in Florida gets right uppity, “We’re in the middle of dinner and a hurricane.” Ookee, so I guess you won’t be making a donation today.

Went over to a friend’s place to make tacos for us all, she especially needs the food-love because she’s been sad. I don’t know the magic words to soothe her soul, so my best offering is food and conversation.

Together we watch an old Twilight Zone with William Shatner. The plot is thus: A man has just been released from the nut house after a mental breakdown. He’s on a plane where a Gremlin appears on the wing and starts trying to get into the engine. Whenever he tries to show someone or tell them about it they act as if he’s just a nutter. Finally (sorry, this is a spoiler) he opens the auxilary exit and shoots the Gremlin off the plane. He’s carted away in a straightjacket, but the evidence of the prised off engine cover will later prove him right.

Sometimes paranormal things happen. Sometimes paranormal things happen to crazy people. Sometimes paranormal things happen to me. And like William Shatner’s character, I am not believed.

A week after I got out of the bin, a ghost started knocking on my floor. Bang bang bang. I turned down the television, I thought it was the diner downstairs saying my t.v. was too loud. It was a nice thought to have, something more appropriate, especially given all the spiritual maelstrom that a manic psychosis had just thrown me into. But then one night the banging decided to follow me as I got off the couch, went to the bathroom, and it climbed into the wall and started banging next to me as I was sitting trying to have a piss.

My mom didn’t believe me. “Have you told your psychiatrist this?”

Sometimes the best person to talk to is another crazy person who has experience with the paranormal. I asked a family member for some advice. She told me to burn incense and ask it to leave; or if it did want something from me, if it came from the Creator. So I did that, and the banging vanished.

No boosting of medication would have solved this problem. Luckily banging on the floor, while pesky and mildly malevolent, is no where near the same urgency as a gremlin trying to crash a plane.

What other things has Friday the 13th brought to us today? Well, the passing of Julia Child is one of them. She will be missed. Goodbye Julia, and whip us up a little something something for when the rest of us join you in the afterlife.

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