Monthly Archives: April 2009

Big Boned Gals

I worked my first midnight to seven shift last night and am still decompressing. I know I need sleep because at 10:30 i’ll have been awake for twenty four hours, which can’t possibly be good. Oh man! Oh yay, I am yawning! Well, what’s new? I am doing relatively well, except for some financial issues which have impacted my life, but that happens all the time. Stupid bills.
I still have not had my major breakthrough with my video. I don’t know why. I need to reinspire myself I think.
I started a love spell! It’s not on a specific person, it’s more a bring someone into my life kinda spell. Unfortunately I did not have the inside scoop on the best place to buy witchy candles, and I needed a pink one, and all I could find was a huge pink candle, which has been burned at regular intervals over the course of two weeks and is still only halfway down. I feel like it should have been a smaller candle. But who knows, maybe I will get bigger love!
I personally like big girls. I’ve dated all sizes of girls, but the bigger ones are just a little more sexy for some reason. I think because when I’m with a big girl I’m seeing a type of sexy naked body that isn’t reflected in the media. So the rarity of it makes it more delicious. I’ve seen skinny naked girls everywhere, but chubby naked girls? Not since the pick a fold and fuck it ladies in the back of dirty mags. And you don’t see the average chubby naked lady represented, it seems to be either skinny or hugely overweight, not those middle grounders.

Plus, I must say, big girls generally have big breasts. I do! And I like ample breasts.
Well, soon I am going over to mum’s where there is no computer! Which means no internet. I have a fun fun day planned of sleeping and eating and waiting for the cuz to call and for us to go for some beers. It IS the weekend after all.

I am a bad blogger

I haven’t been writing much lately, mostly because I am working so much right now. I haven’t been working on my video either, like I said I would. I’ve been bad creatively altogether.
But my trusted psych nurse, who I see mostly because she gives me insight to things I otherwise wouldn’t have, thinks I am in remission. I certainly hope so. It’s been well over a year since I was depressed. And two years since I was manic. And I got to go off one drug altogether. I am doing well, to sum up. And no thoughts of conquering the world. It’s been really nice.
I am up past my bedtime. I should get to bed soon. I just came from a lovely dinner party. I haven’t been to one in ages, besides the ones my mom has. My mommy.

My Mum and I have been getting along a lot better since I moved out of her house. Unfortunately I owe her money. And it’s about the same amount I owe to Student Loans.

It’s not as bad as you think, I’m treaty, the vast majority of my education was paid for except for the tiniest fraction, which I got a student loan for. And some of it was already forgiven, and it was a summer session anyway. Still, I know just on principle I will pay my mum back before I pay my stupid tiny student loan.

Being in remission again makes me want to get a girlfriend. But where? So far two people on facebook have mentioned Toronto, but I don’t particularly want to live in Toronto. And I had a girlfriend who lived in Toronto, and she wasn’t interested in living in Vancouver until I moved away from it. And by then we were long since broken up because she said there was no way we could be together because of the distance. I remember I had a nightmare that she dumped me because of her phone bill, and that she would have kept going out with me if Sprint had done it’s cheap long distance plan while we were still going out. Who knows.
I’m feeling optimistic about my future lately, not necessarily because of the job, maybe mostly because it is spring and everything looks better in the spring.

UFO’s and Artist types

Well, me again.

I’m starting to feel more grown up and recovered than before doing all this work. It’s given me some kind of structure and purpose, more than the call centre job I must admit. Because the call centre was something I had done for so long.

But I do really want to be making art too. I really like that. I need to figure out a way to make it so someday. Just live from grant to grant with some award money and stuff thrown in. Or win 649.

I don’t get it. I think I blew my wad on Unusual Occurances Allowed Per Life like winning the lottery when Laurel and I saw those two UFO’s out by Cranberry Flats. It was such a weird situation, because they were out there for three hours and we saw them show up. In that strange way they did, like streams of light bouncing back and forth in the sky in a circle, and then widening to oval white lights, and then an hour later they were green balls that were shimmering and starting to jump around in the sky, and then they could turn into solid balls of light. And we still don’t know what they were, hence they were UFO’s. What the hell? What the fuck was that? SO WEIRD! I wrote about it on my old blog, Fit Of Pique.

So seeing UFO’s, AND winning the lottery? No way, I so don’t see it. But it’s nice to dream isn’t it?

Being single for so long, I am starting to worry about myself. I used to get so many crushes, and I haven’t had any for a long time. Not even an all consuming crush on a movie star. I’m not even aroused by Angelina Jolie anymore! Something is wrong. I am lowering my antidepressant soon in the hopes the problem will be alleviated. I feel chemically spayed. Blech.

I am saving up money for my next tattoo. I am getting cherry blossoms in an oval on my left forearm. I want them because I always used to get depressed in the winters in Vancouver and I would promise not to do anything until the spring, and by spring things looked way better.

I miss being in school, not enough to go back, but enough just to remember happy times when I was all hypomanic and editing all the time. I loved film school. I love film and video. I need to bring it into my life a bit more, it’s my passion but I feel like in the last two months I have made no progress on my big project. I feel like a stagnant video artist. Terrible! Well if this is the year of big changes, then I will vow to work on my art more. I need to do some new comics too.

Anyway, I gotta crash. Night night internet world.

update

It’s been a long time since I have written.

I have gotten a new job which has taken a lot of my time, not to mention my internet was down. DOWN! I hadn’t been able to pay my isp for a long time, and they cut me off until I could pay. Which I finally have, and so I am writing from home, most happily facebooking and all those other things I do online.

I have a smouldering ashtray in front of me. Fucking ashtray.

I come up as number two in google suggestions when you type in Thirza! I’m famous! And I have a weird name!

I like being me these days. Which is good. I’m doing pretty well, and I can get up early for work, which is also good.

I’ve been so bored without the internet and television! NO SIMPSONS! Oh lord, it was brutal!

My mum is here to go online. I will write more later.