Fucking In Front of The Community

I haven’t been updating this blog very much but it’s not because I’m not thinking about it or because I am giving it up. I was genuinely just too busy, I went to like, three cities since the beginning of October including an overseas trip to London UK. Also just before going to London my computer started constantly crashing and just quit in London. So it’s been at the store since the day after I got back, getting looked at. I have no idea if they even started working on it, when I call a crabby lady tells me “it’s in the queue!”
That didn’t really help this last week. I had to get a pitch deck finished for my producer and I to pitch our project. In the end we had to use her computer and do a lot of work in the few days she was in town just before pitch day. Our pitch went well though, we got a lot of interest which was good, and I want to get back to my project. Today I had a handful of micro meetings with people who weren’t as interested and hadn’t seen my pitch. But whatever.
I did have some non-work excitement in my life. I met someone really interesting and cute who I want to know better. And I got to spend time with my Mom. And I saw friends in all the cities I went to.
I dunno what else? I came back here and basically did work all week because of ImagineNATIVE. There was the pitch day, micro meetings, a panel, I did a performance today. Tomorrow I am just going to see films all day though and none of them are mine so there is no stress now. And I’m fairly certain I’m not up for any awards so I’m not going to the awards show this year.
And next week I have a massage booked on Halloween. It will be spooktacular! Ha ha ok lol.
The dogs were at the sitter most of this month, and I feel kind of bad for bringing them home just before the festival started cause they have been so lonely and put out. And I’ve just been getting crabbier and crabbier with so little downtime. But next week will be a nice rest. And I’m not booking myself for any gigs in December. After TQFF my major heavy job stuff is over for a while.
I’m so tired, and every time I write in my handwritten journal (since my computer is in the shop) I just write “I’m tired.” Well, except for all the sexy stuff I wrote in it. I was actually using it this week to take notes during meetings and having nightmares of leaving it somewhere and having some stranger read personal stuff. Like I know people think I get personal here, but I honestly try to keep my love and sex life off the Internet, even just fantasies, but especially if they involve crushes and lovers cause I know people get nervous I’m gonna write about that thing they do that we both like.
There was one funny thing that happened this month tho that I feel okay talking about. I’d been going to this sex club cause they had women and trans nights. And I never had sex there cause honestly I’m too shy. But I liked someone who was there and there always seemed to be too many people around to ask to make out with her (cause it’s like a sex club right?) so anyway long story short she started making out with someone else in front of me and I was like wow I am not that mean to myself that I’m going to stay and watch this. So I left. But I did learn I can’t go to sex clubs so I mean that’s good right? And I mean I know I seem to put everything out there but honestly I’m a shy guy and I can like, quietly flirt in private enough to start things but like asking to kiss and fuck in front of The Community is actually kind of a nightmare I don’t know why I didn’t clue in on that before.
Of course I just got back from doing a performance where I was naked. Public nudity, totally easy. Taking emotional risks in highly charged public sexual spaces? Noooooooooooooooo.

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