Monthly Archives: November 2018

Way Later Back Home

It is way later. Australia was amazing. We went to the country for a few days driving along the Great Ocean Road and staying in a cabin and seeing the ocean and a rainforest and unfortunately passing a lot of roadkill wallabies/kangaroos. And even two roadkill koalas. SAD! OMG. We went to some hot springs. We went to a cave. We saw the Southern Cross while watching kangaroos eat in the dark. We did so many things and it was an amazing trip that mostly was documented on my Instagram account (@thirzac) so if you wanted to go see the pictures go there.

Now I am back and trying to readjust to life. I was gonna say Nothing Can Top That but then I got some insanely good news I can’t talk about, and I’m back to feeling on cloud nine. It’s really nice.

It’s funny, you can work and work and work and feel like you aren’t really getting anywhere and then suddenly realize you’re going to be recognized and make it and it’s like, such a nice feeling. Like it was all worth it.

I mean I always liked my career anyway. It’s something I feel good about doing. I like challenging myself and feeling like I am always growing. But it’s nice sometimes when you get the nod that you are going in the right direction.

I really only have a little while of being home before I leave again. I am spending most of December and the first part of January in Saskatoon. I’m really happy about it, because I will get to see old friends, and some of my family. It’s weird going back now with no Grandma or Grandpa there. I always looked forward to visiting them, and they’ve been gone for a while now. Last year when my Mom, Auntie, and I went to the UK for two weeks, I came back to have a psychic reading and found out my Grandma said she went with us. It almost made me choke up when the psychic said that. Anyway, I was thinking of Grandma while I was in Australia, I was wondering if she was with me again. It is comforting to think of her going with me to all the places I am going to go. I had her binoculars with me, she was a birdwatcher, and we would look for penguins and seals and stuff with them. They were so handy. I’m glad I have them.

I am cleaning my apartment today. The kitchen is a mess. Everywhere is a mess really. I need to whip it into shape. Yesterday I slept until 4pm because I was so jetlagged, and the plane from LA came over night so we arrived early in the morning. And then I did my laundry because the situation was dire. I had a work phone call. Sent some work emails. Woke up this morning and sent more work emails. I need to catch up. I bought some groceries, I am going to make some tacos tonight. I went to my friend Elwood’s apartment and got his keys to feed his cat and fish tomorrow.

I don’t know, I feel very weird. I feel excited and confused and I don’t really know what is going to happen to me next year but I think it’s going to be big. I think 2019 might end up being my ultimate year. It also happens to be the year my psychic saw me getting my career to rise and a serious relationship showing up. And I kind of think it might be true. But so much is unknown about my future. I mean no one really knows their future.

I’m worried my cactus has some kind of illness. I have this giant cactus that was growing new pads and everything, but around the spikes there is some white stuff. Noooo I don’t even know what kind of cactus it is, I just got it at the corner store this summer.

I updated my bio and c.v. today, they are on this website! Finally!

My Invisaligns are working. And I am still losing weight. I feel shallow being happy about my body changing. I think I’m more excited by the teeth than the weight thing though, because I don’t really believe I am ever gonna stabilize my weight and remain the same for a length of time. And honestly chunky is pretty cute too. I’m trying to be conscious of smaller person privilege. I’m really not thin and I doubt I will ever be. But I’m way smaller than I was before and I know it’s probably going to change how people treat me. I keep looking in the mirror and being surprised by what I see. And when I was in Australia I took a picture of myself where I could see how my teeth are moving. Interesting.

Animals and Boots

Yesterday was a LONG day of this tour to Philip Island with a stop at Maru Animal Park where we got to see some Australian animals. Mostly the kangaroos were not interested in eating our food because people fed them all day. But they were cool to see. I got to see a wombat. I got to pet a koala. I got to look at a dingo. I got a hilarious photo of some emus. Then we went to Philip Island and got to wait for the little penguins to come ashore. It was a long wait, uncomfortable, my body was hurting. We had to be there as the sun set and then this one tiny penguin waddled up the shore. And then another group. And another group. And then we walked on the boards above their burrows and got to see them socializing. Closer to the interpretive centre a couple were fucking in front of everyone with all the lights on them. I mean I guess they need to be on land to do it, so why wait? Super cute little guys.

The tour guide we had talked almost the whole time he drove us around, hours and hours, and it kind of like, omg. It was a bit much. And then he was going to be quiet but put jazz music on for the rest of the drive to Melbourne and it was like omg noooo I need to listen to something else if I can’t listen to nothing! So I listened to my music on the way back.

Today we decided to have a chill day so we went to the UGG outlet store, and a well stocked store for Blundstones. Riki got some UGGs and I got this actually surprisingly nice pair of Blundstones. And then we got dumplings.

On the way back to the hostel some Jesus freaks jumped on our tram to preach Jesus shit and talk about their friend who survived being shot nine times through the power of Christ. And I wanted to ask “Was he talking about Jesus when he got shot nine times?” Riki and I were trying not to make eye contact with them. And then Riki turns to me and was like “Is it because it’s Tuesday?” Because yeah we haven’t seen Jesus freaks out other days. Is Tuesday the Australian evangelical holy day?

It’s hot in our hostel and it’s hot outside and we don’t have air conditioning. I’m shocked any hostel or hotel wouldn’t have A/C. Anyway, we only have a few days left here, like, not even a few, only two more nights then we hit the road for the coast. I’m gonna be so glad to be out of this party hostel. The weekend sucked. BUT it’s almost over.

Anyway I think tonight we are just gonna go hang by the beach after we rest for a while. We’ve been getting up early. Riki automatically wakes up at 6:30am every day and I end up waking up not long after she starts moving around. I was exhausted from our tour yesterday and had an amazing sleep but also this deep vivid dream that I can’t fucking remember.



So far it’s been nice, we’ve been going to Tilde Festival which is a Trans and Gender Non-Conforming Film Festival. It’s been awesome! We also went to the beach multiple times, rode a 100 year old wooden rollercoaster, saw a cockatoo being chased by some other birds, watched a jellyfish bloob around in a river, and five minutes after leaving the airport saw some kangaroos hanging out. Also I ate a kangaroo burger and we’ve spent lots of money on food because it’s pricey here. Tomorrow we go to Phillip Island to see some kangaroos, koalas, Tasmanian devils, and penguins. We actually did see one penguin by the pier, some people said it wasn’t but it was small and fat and looked like it was wearing a tux so I am pretty sure it was a penguin.
I still want to eat some oysters, we are gonna go to the UGG and Blundstone Outlet stores, there’s an old prison we want to tour because it’s creepy. I was in a haunted hotel having a pee and then we walked to Bourke street just a couple of hours before this guy did a terror attack there by running a ute filled with gas canisters into Target or something and then running around stabbing people. My Mom was like “You are getting close to danger I think you should come home!” but obviously I haven’t left. It’s getting fucking ridiculous my proximity to terror attacks and this is probably the closest I have gotten. To think if we hadn’t got tired and gone back to the hostel we could have still been there is so bizarre.
But like that time in London, no one here really cared about the attack. No one was doing hushed whispering or looking around with paranoid eyes. People just went on with their lives. Which is really all you can do.
It’s pretty amazing what the land and climate is like here. They have trees so unlike the ones we have back home. Like, just really fascinating land and flora and fauna. I feel pretty lucky to be here to see this place finally. I’ve wanted to come to Australia since I was a kid because it sounded like such a fantastical place. And it really is like, SO UNUSUAL. To my Canadian eyes anyway.
The festival is over now, we saw some good films. Tonight we saw Man Made which was about trans men bodybuilders and was so good! It covered a wide variety of life experiences of these men and didn’t just like, end with transitioning. Like it went into parenting and relationships and meeting birth moms and Black Lives Matter and homelessness and being trans and unable to access shelters, and top surgery, and lesbian partners and I really liked it. Some of the docs we had been seeing were like, trans 101 and I was disappointed by those, but this one was just really complex and lovely.
I’m sleepy. The flight here was so long. Two planes to get to Los Angeles and then a 15 hour flight from Los Angeles to Melbourne. SO LONG! We were taking ativan on the way here and basically passed out, but they kept putting food in our faces and we’d be like, all groggy trying to eat.
Anyway, I am having a good time. I’ve been trying to sleep in but we are staying in a hostel and if we wake up early enough we have the showers to ourselves. So yeah. The hostel life is not for me anymore. This one is a party hostel basically and all these youth from mostly Europe are like, drinking every night and being annoying and sitting in front of the front door drinking and smoking weed and being obnoxious. And running up the hall when we are trying to sleep. I’m glad we have a private room, small mercies. A larger dorm room would fucking SUCK! ALSO doors don’t lock from the inside, so every night after we pee before we go to sleep we stack our suitcases against the door to keep drunks from wandering in.
NOT ONLY THAT but we are the only butch dykes here for sure, and the only visibly queer people. So that’s always like a weird fucking situation to be in. But no one has said shitty things to us at the hostel, they are only interested in drinking and flirting and making pancakes and smoking. We are probably really invisible to them also, since we are older.
They walk on the opposite sides of everything compared to Canadians. Like we walk on the right and they walk on the left. They stand on the left on escalators. When we ask for cream for our coffee they ask “Do you mean milk?” They call an Americano a Long Black. Their paper money (actually plastic money) makes sense because smaller denominations are smaller and large denominations larger. but the 2 dollar coin is smaller than the 1 dollar which is way smaller than 50 cents.
Riki says their queer/trans community seems to have people who are very similar in appearance to people we know back in Toronto. Like there is a finite number of queers in the world that just repeat in different locations. She called it The Upside Down. Also the fashion here is not as hoity toity as queers in Toronto, which is kind of nice. It’s true, Toronto queers have some weird fashion thing going on that I don’t really mesh with being like, slob butch from Saskatchewan who dresses like an urban farmer.
Anyway there’s my blab for the day! It’s 11pm and I gotta sleep!