So being a “public figure” (as a longstanding queer filmmaker) I sometimes do vanity google searches to see what’s popping up these days. Someone said I was misdiagnosed with Bipolar disorder, in a book, and that is factually incorrect. I am definitely bipolar. And that’s ok! Anyway, I did go through a rebellious antipsychiatry phase in 2007 or whatever so maybe it’s from that. ALSO I found a page for myself on Celebrity Net Worth which said my Net Worth was “under review” and used some info from I assume my IMDB page to say what I am famous for. Lez just put this to bed right now, my net worth is very small. I have almost $6000 in my bank account right now because it’s for a commissioned video and definitely not the kind of dollars I normally have in the bank. But I definitely have not made my first million yet. And I don’t foresee that happening even if my feature is a hit. So stop speculating!
And yet I am priceless!
Anyway, today was funny. OH but I guess I should talk about my actual birthday. It was great! I went to Marty’s and they made me a cake and we had pizza with friends and they gave me a tarot reading about my love life ahead and it ended with The Seer which in their deck is equivalent to the High Priestess. So that was cool, if a lil mysterious. I also got a two of cups for the opposing forces, and some other cups, like I think the nine of cups? And I got the magician for the first position. It was a very sweet reading. And I got to tell them a funny story from ages ago when I was younger.
Today I got some equipment from Charles Street Video for my shoot this weekend. Tomorrow afternoon I shoot a date/phone call/looking out the window scene. Tomorrow night I am lounging on my bed saying my monologue, and Sunday afternoon Elwood comes over for the last scene which is him looking at something on a laptop and talking to the camera on the couch. Short scenes! I am hoping to get it edited together tomorrow night or Monday and send it on to the places it needs to go!
I had therapy today, which was mostly me talking about past relationship patterns and also how much work I have to do. I swear, the past year and a bit every therapy appointment is me going “OMG I have so much I need to do it’s overwhelming!” I get through it, it’s just relentless tho. And the relationship pattern is something I need to look at more. Like I’ve been in some weird non-relationships the last ten years involving making out all the time and/or fucking and emotional connection and sometimes sleeping in the same bed a lot and all kinds of weird things, BUT nothing where we are like “Let’s change our relationship status on Facebook” or even “This is my girlfriend Thirza.” Like it’s been a lot of weirdness that left me feeling pretty devalued actually. And to have that happen for three relationships in a row is kind of weird man. I think I’m going to try and be more upfront with what I want and walk away if it’s not enough. I’ve been in a strange position of trying to make things work when they should have just been ended so I could have more dignity. So I’m trying to do that.
Yesterday I had a date, which was kind of fun, but mostly just a reason to go meet someone from OKC. She wasn’t really into me, which was okay. After I went for dinner with my friend Lisa and found out she used to know of someone I know from our distant pasts and that was a pretty funny conversation.
I got this dog camera called Furbo from my Mom for my birthday and it’s been SO HANDY! I can check on the dogs from my phone. They mostly lay around. Nothing too crazy. I get alerts when they are barking, which is nice, and then I can throw treats at them. Honestly it’s the best thing I’ve had in ages!
Anyway, I should go do some tidying and stuff. I have an opening to go to for my Auntie Lori at the Ryerson Image Centre tonight, so I gotta go do that. Also I am supposed to watch all these films by next Thursday. SO MUCH WORK! It’s cool though, I like being busy.