Day 5: Thoughts

So I have now been on Vyvanse for five days. I hate being crabby. In a general sense, it’s not a good feeling, it’s not productive, it makes me short with friends and relatives and I’m sure hurts their feelings because normally I am an easy going person. But I have noticed when it’s later in the evening my irritability goes up. At the same time that my Vyvanse is beginning to wear off. It’s not SUPER horrible, but it’s enough of a bother that I think I need to come up with some coping skills for impulsive irritability. Also I think I need to eat better, I’ve been poor the last week so my eating has been terrible, and that lowers my blood sugar and contributes to the irritability. Because when I have food in the house I usually eat a piece of cheese in the evening and it helps a lot.

Anyway, that’s really the only downside to this med so far. The good things really outweigh it. I’m working on a script rewrite and I needed to reread it and make notes, and sometimes that has been a struggle for me because my attention will wane or I will get distracted. But that day I was able to focus, concentrate, get done in three hours what would have taken many more. I also worked on redoing my CV yesterday. It’s such a boring task, and there were a couple times I was like “BLECH I don’t want to do this!” but it didn’t stop me from finishing my task! Like I just thought about doing something else, but I still completed this job. It was kind of amazing. I didn’t drag my heels.

It’s especially important because as a filmmaker I can hyperfocus on the creative parts that I find really fun, in particular writing and editing. But the administrative aspects of filmmaking, like fixing my cv and doing forms and paperwork, oh I really could do without that. But I have to do it, and Vyvanse makes it easier. So that is really interesting.

I can also have conversations with people and not get lost or think about something else. It’s really cool.

On this med I can take days off, but I’m gonna take it everyday for the first two weeks then maybe have Sundays off or something. I almost want to be on it every day though because it makes such a difference.

Aside from all of that, life’s been pretty good. I did a talk in a class on Friday, worked on script and cv stuff like I mentioned, I think I’m going to try and get into better work habits now that it’s easier to work.

My friend who helped me figure out all this ADHD stuff has been too busy with other things to chat, but I am stoked about our next phone call when we can compare notes!

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