I made one of my resolutions to date more this year than last year(s). So on the urging of a friend, I rehydrated my OKCupid profile and used a silly profile picture, and actually I met a couple of people who didn’t seem horrible (actually they both seem really nice). So I went on one date (achieving my goal!) and it was actually a pretty cute date and I think we are going on a second. Before that date I ended up making another coffee date with another woman. So it’s pretty interesting. I don’t know what’s going to happen. Anything!
I haven’t dated in a long time. Like, super long. I’ve had these awkward “hang outs” with friends/interesting women where it just ended up being really one sided on my part and only friendly on theirs. So this time I am actually intentionally dating. It’s making a difference I think, for sure, instead of the friendly ambiguous queer hang outs. I’m nervous though because stuff like commitment and exclusivity is a ways off (if it happens) and I have rarely actually dated more than one person at a time (although once I managed!). Actually my previous relationship patterns really sucked. I always moved too fast, had sex before getting to know my partners, ended up feeling emotionally invested in women I really needed to see honestly before all that sex related oxytocin coloured my vision. So I am trying NOT to do that this time. Even the last woman I had sex with I was like, immediately puppy dog eyeing and I think it totally annoyed her because she just was not into that. Also she was far away.
So if I move slower and get to know someone without just thinking about how fast I can get naked, I think I might have a better go of it.
Plus I am almost 40, it’s time to start breaking bad patterns.
I don’t want to be rude or fuck anything up though so I probably won’t go into much more detail about my dating situation. If things get more serious I will probably mention that here. Because I think romance is cute.
Anyway, in other news, tomorrow I go to the doctor to get my ADHD medication prescription. I am hoping it’s decent stuff. I think I am going to try and take it tomorrow morning (my dr. appointment is 9:15am) and start getting used to it. People say I’m gonna feel high the first couple days until my body adjusts. So that will be . . . interesting. I’m not really looking forward to feeling speedy. Although I imagine I might be able to get some deep cleaning done. I’m glad I don’t have a valentines day date, because I’m probably going to be really annoying tomorrow. I’m already anticipating how much blabbing I am gonna do on social media about trivial stuff. I already mention a lot of trivial things on facebook (ie. I talked about the new chicken place today), but I imagine the volume of trivial things will be more. Much more about the chicken place and the gyro I got today.
Anyway. I’ve been alright. Money is tight. I didn’t get a grant I wanted, which is sad but also maybe a good thing because there is something else I have to concentrate on the next few months. I am anticipating money, but not having it right now bites. I know it’s eventually coming though, which makes me less anxious.
The dogs are fine and fun. We’ve been walking everyday (except during blizzards) and Posey’s socialization is getting better. She still sucks with other dogs, but she has been passing adults without freaking out, and now she is even walking past children without being grumpy. Once a child chased us to pet her and she had a cow, but that’s kind of understandable. And she’s still so small I can lift her up and out of the way.
Posey’s gotcha day is tomorrow! 🙂 3 years with me! My little red Valentine Girl! 😀 I remember she was so tiny and scared in her crate, and she pooped and barfed on the way home. And she was so adorable, and sweet, and funny. I tried to get my mom’s friend Norlane to hold her when I first got her and she CRIED so hard like she was injured and we didn’t know what was going on. But now I think she just really got attached to me already and wanted to be my dog, and was worried I was gonna give her to someone else. She and I bonded really fast. When I got Little Mister he was already a year old and had been bonded to his breeder’s family, so he was shyer and didn’t feel bonded to me right away. But it worked out. But Posey bonded within a day really. And she was very snuggly, cause she’s a short haired dachshund so she liked being warm with me. Best baby! And I called her baby. I still call her baby. She’s probably always going to be my baby.