I had a couple crappy days in a row. I don’t even know why, negative things kind of dog piled on me and I got really irritated and depressed temporarily. Yesterday I had a couple of festival rejections that just pissed me off, and normally I don’t care, and I don’t even think either of them would have seriously advanced my career. But they pissed me off anyway.
And then I was trying to shake off my intense crabbiness today, but then I got THE WORST welfare intake worker I have EVER had. Like she practically accused me of still getting student loans AND disability from Saskatchewan all at the same time right up until now and was really aggressive about things and told me I would have to move because they only give 375 a month for rent. OK lady, where in Toronto can anyone pay 375 a month for rent? Like, in a shed in someone’s backyard rooming with some raccoons? Also it would cost me 500 to move all my stuff AND not to mention first and last months rent. Man, SHE WAS THE WORST! And at certain points I just wanted to be like “That’s none of your business!” ha ha. Awww man and she didn’t even take notes well, she was writing all this stuff down on a teeny tiny post it note. SERIOUSLY! And really I am just signing up because I have no money until I get a job. Whenever that is. But I don’t want to be on welfare, it’s the worst. The only good thing is she’s just an intake worker and not my actual caseworker who I hope is not also an asshole. ALSO she is demanding a letter from my life insurance provider saying how much the cash value is of my policy. So annoying. She’s the worst, where do they find these people?
But I know it’s not her, she’s THE SYSTEM! The system sucks. And they’re gonna monitor my bank account as long as I am on welfare which also sucks. What nosey systems. Which is why I really want this to be max a two month situation. I couldn’t stand it longer than that.
So that bummed me out today. As if applying for welfare isn’t a bummer enough as it is.
But then I got to see my friends Riki and Shavonne today and we went to the farm and saw some pigs and goats and various other animals. And we had barbecue at Riki’s. And then I came home to some happy pups. Who WEREN’T barking when I came into the courtyard, so they got extra tummy rubs for being good pups. And tomorrow I go to see my psychotherapist. So that’s nice. And I’m trading a toilet brush for a chocolate bar (its brand new and I have two others). And my dog Posey is super farty right now. WHEW!
Mostly though I am looking forward to life improving. I want to grow a fuchsia in my sun porch this summer. I like fuchsias. I want to kiss someone this summer. I want to take the pups to a beach this summer. I sometimes get confused what season I am in and if winter is coming or going, but even though we had such a mild winter I am still ready for a definite summer to come along. I want A JOB this summer! Something that gives me a decent income.
Anyway, Spring is just starting, so there’s still a ways to go. And my birthday is next month. With any luck I will be working on my birthday.
As frivolous as it may sound I might take Little Mister to the groomer when I get paid. He’s getting shaggy. He needs a trim. He’s peeing on his tummy fur.