Monthly Archives: January 2014


I filled out an application for an Artist In Residence at a secret place that I hope to go to this year.  It’s competitive so I don’t want to jinx myself by blabbing too much about it.  Just that it would be AWESOME!  It would also take me away from my baby, Little Mister, for a while.  That’s the hard part of being an artist and dog owner, sometimes there is the chance to go away for something exciting, but you have to leave the pup behind.  And he’s really adorable and grounding for me, so it’s weird to leave him.  It would be worse if he was my child!  I don’t know how parents do residencies away from home.

I was busy with that all day today.  I gave myself until the end of tomorrow to do it then I was gonna get back to my project, but it didn’t need so much time.  It was fairly easy to do.  I will be okay if I don’t get it, it’s just the sort of thing you have to throw your hat in the ring for, just in case.  It didn’t cost anything to apply either, super sweet!

Little Mister was nosing me today while I was talking to Mom.  He wanted attention.  It was so cute, he’s never done that to me before.  OMG!  He is so cute!  I picked him up and told him how cute he was.

I had a good texty conversation with my friend in Toronto, it was all private stuff that I’m not gonna disclose here, BUT it was really nice to blab to him and hear his thoughts about life.  I’m gonna see him in a few weeks.  Feb 9 – 12 I will be in Toronto, after my gig in Kingston.  I am going to Kingston for ReelOut, which should be fun.  I’m on a panel so I have to think of interesting blab blab.  And they are screening a couple of videos.

Well, I should go to bed I guess.  When I start getting tired at this time of night there’s not much more productive stuff I can do.  I sort of peter off.  And if I push it I end up writing voluminous emails to exlovers about the past and feelings.  Ugh!  That’s not good for anybody!

Me and the Pups

Little Mister has become some kind of super pup since his teeth got fixed.  He was running around earlier like he was on amphetamines, carrying Hermione’s Yak Of Power in his mouth and tossing it around, daring Hermione to chase him and get it back.  He was so cute, and it made me laugh and laugh.  Aw!  My little boy!  I’m so glad he’s so happy.  He is REALLY happy.  Adorable boy.

I’m super tired.  It’s after midnight and I should probably go to bed.  I had a weird dream last night about this woman and man who were on fire and coming towards me, walking like it was normal for them to be on fire.  It felt like an omen or something, like it MEANT something.  I don’t know what.  It wasn’t scary though, not as scary as that black horse chasing me that I knew was God, that was a sort of unsettling dream.

I’ve been having super weird drinking urges these days, which makes me think I should get my ass back to Concurrent Disorders group.  Also this evening I started getting a headache.  Just this weird frontal lobe headache, which is WEIRD for me because I rarely ever get headaches.  I think I’m gonna take a break from looking at a screen tomorrow and try to read these books I got for research purposes.

Sodastreams of bubbly happiness

So this is a continuation of Fit Of Pique but on my site.  It’s kind of weird not seeing that Fit Of Pique banner.  I am sure I will get used to it.

So life’s good, I suppose.  I am busy with my project, which is super nice.  I was able to get a new suitcase and a Sodastream yesterday.  I read somewhere that Sodastream supports the Israeli occupation, which made me wonder if I could donate cash to some Palestinian organization to offset my “support” of Sodastream.  Like a carbon offset.  Then I was like “Could I give money to the PLO?” Because that was the first place I thought off.  Then I was like “Wait, does the PLO even exist anymore?”  Because I realized that is kind of an old word that you don’t hear on the news anymore.  And then I was like, fuck, they are probably considered a terrorist organization anyway and I would be like, on the no fly list for my $20 contribution.

Anyway, the PLO is not in charge anymore anyway, it is Hamas, and I think probably a donation to like, a Palestinian daycare would be better anyway.  Or some org that raises the profile of the Palestinian cause.  Or like, something that pays for people to guard olive trees.

See, I could have avoided this whole worry by not buying a Sodastream, except I really like soda and I have been coveting Sodastreams whenever I see them in stores.  And this one was really cheap, it was fifty bucks off!  AND it will keep me from giving so much money to Coca-cola Corp.  Which is something I have felt guilty about for years, because Coca-cola kills like, union leaders and stuff.  It is an evil corporation.

It looks like all soda is destined to have a dark side!

Anyway, I’ll be back later to blab about other things.  I think I should upload some jpgs of my art to this site so I’m gonna go do that, while I drink this Sodastream cola.

In the beginning was the word . . .

Hi people.  This is my new website, it’s like a baby so it’s gonna fall on it’s face a lot in these early days.  But don’t worry, soon it will be running full force looking for trouble!


Here’s me in space in the meantime!

So yeah, this is mainly gonna be an artist website, I am a filmmaker and performance artist, and sometimes I draw things.

I’ve got a new project coming up, it’s pretty exciting and should be featured here starting in September of 2014, so be on the lookout for that!

I have a blog, I’m gonna try and figure out how to get it to show up here, but bear with me since it is a blogger blog and this page is a WordPress thingy.  I’m not sure how compatible the two are.

My blog is called Fit Of Pique and it has been running since 2004!

White Tears

I got this really weird message today from a friend who told me some white guy accused me of being a bully and unfriended her because she agreed with me about something on facebook that happened in November!  He had said this First Nations veteran who brought a Mohawk Warrior flag to a Remembrance Ceremony was being disruptive and deserved to get arrested, and I had disagreed because that Veteran had brought that flag to Remembrance Day ceremonies before with no problems!  Anyway, I’m the big Native bully now.  White tears.

Whatever, that’s not what this whole post is gonna be about at all, I just found it so remarkable that I needed to mention it.

I died in HabitRPG.  I died on Sunday and since then I got serious about it and have been working SUPER HARD at accomplishing my goals.  Most of them are basic things like Wake Up Early (11am counts as early for me, but I’m gonna push it back to 10am), floss, eat breakfast.  Some are chores like making supper and cleaning my room and doing laundry and stuff.  So today I cleaned the bathroom hoping I could get my sword back.  Oh yes, and I lost my sword when I died!  I have NOTHING!  Mom is totally happy about this making me do chores and stuff.  It does make the grim realities of life seem more enjoyable!  Like, I have flossed every day this week for the points. 

My transcript showed up today, so I scanned and uploaded it.  Also now I am able to see all of my marks.  There was one spring session and one fall session that were just horrible.  I actually failed a class, and I don’t even remember taking it!  Like, did I even go to that class?  It’s got me baffled!  I remember the instructor was just teaching us webpage building out of a book in the first session of it, and then the second, it’s like a big blank in my head!  I remember I was having hardcore mental health problems in that semester.  It was really hard.  I got C’s in almost all my classes except the one I got an F in.  But I also made a film that I won an award for, soooooo, whatever, grades are weird.

Anyway, if anything is gonna fuck me over, it’s that semester.  The rest of my marks were mainly B’s, B+, B-, B.  They told me in first year that A was for Art Student.  But that’s not so helpful when you later want to go to Grad school.  B is for Busy Student. C is for Can’t Deal. F is for Fuckkkkkkkk.

I’m doing pretty good otherwise, I hope I get notified if I got into Grad School in March, because then I can do my Canada Council Grant for the March 31 deadline. 

I went with my Mom to the Field House today and we walked the track.  We only did half an hour.  It was really nice, Mom says you only have to do half an hour of exercise three times a week, but I kind of liked when I would do an hour.  Anyway, I am just starting again, so I should ease myself into it anyway.

My Mars books showed up today.  I read the beginning of The Case For Mars by Robert Zubrin.  I’m gonna read more before I go to sleep.  I think I used to have that book, I left it at the apartment I was subletting in Montreal a long time ago.  Anyway, it has been updated.  And I also got Destination Mars by Rod Pyle. 

Grandma has rallied.  She is really tired, but she’s stopped going super downhill.  I hope she’s okay, but I will also understand when she passes.  It’s a weird situation.  Aging and dying, or not dying.

Tattoo Part 1!

I got tattooed yesterday!  It’s the cherry blossoms I have been wanting forever.  Here are some pics of them:

I have learned I can do about 2.5 hours of tattooing before reaching my pain threshold and needing to stop.  So that’s how much work this was, plus one hour of drawing the branches on me and placing the blossoms, buds, and leaves.  There’s a lot more colour to put in, including some blue on the outside.  I’m really happy with it so far.  In a month after this heals I am going back to get the rest!

I am getting this tattoo because cherry blossoms have a special significance in my life.  When I lived in Vancouver for nearly a decade I would get depressed every winter because of the gloomy grey skies and lack of sun.  Like, suicidally depressed.  And I always promised myself I wouldn’t do anything drastic until I saw the cherry blossoms in spring.  And it worked, because by the time the cherry blossoms came out, the sun would be back and my mood would have lifted.  For a while I thought about getting magnolias on my arm, but even though those were nice too, it was really the cherry blossoms that I liked.  There were so many of them.

I feel super tattooed now that I have close to a half sleeve on my left arm.  I have more tattoos in mind.  I want to get Little Mister’s paw pads tattooed on me somewhere.  Not sure where yet.  I might save my heart area for my future wife.  I’m also contemplating a tattoo for my grandma.  I’m torn between two mittens with a string on them or a cinnamon bun.  OR two mittens with a string HOLDING a cinnamon bun, which is what someone suggested.  It would be super cute!  But that’s for the future.  And I want to put a thunderstorm with a thunderbird on the other side of my right arm with the dragon tattoo.  Because in Cree mythology, Thunderbirds and Snakes are enemies, and my dragon is very snakey.  So that conflict might make my arm make more sense in the Cree way.

Ha ha, Cree Way is the name of the rez gas station here in Saskatoon.  There are actually a few rez gas stations, there is also Firecreek and English River’s station in Grasswood. 

OHHHHHH!  There is one other tattoo I’ve wanted for a while that is super funny.  I want an exploding cherry bomb on my ass cheek.  Like, a really cartoony one.  It’s just something I have thought about for a long time that makes me smile.  I wouldn’t be able to see it, but that’s okay, my future lovers will have something to laugh about. 

It’s Saturday night and I am at home!  Today Mom and I went to the matinee of American Hustle AND later we went to the Casino! I won 42 bucks! 😀 I was betting 20 lines at 2 cents a bet!  On Lucky Meerkats.  I was on a real streak, I got three of those little guys with the capes and two wilds so I won 20 bucks, and then I won 20 bucks on a bonus! 😀

Happy happy!

I’m pretty alright otherwise.  I have no local crushes.  Only celebrities and old far away friends.  Oh, and I guess some standby crushes I’ve just carted around for so long that I have nearly forgotten about them.  I need to get to some major queer event that involves international homos.  And have a fling.  Or get a sexy penpal.  Or something.  OR find someone who wants to move to Canada.  Pshaw, there probably is someone cute in Canada I could date, if I really went out looking.

Old Habits Die Hard

My friend Becca posted about this site called  It basically makes your life an RPG, with points earned and lost and you can buy armour and weapons with coins and it’s all based in doing life tasks, which can be whatever you want.  I just signed up today, so far I have household chores, grooming habits, sleep habits, and work/creative work that I need to do.  Also there are habits, daily things, and a to do list, and they all give you different points depending on how hard and how often you do them.  It seems like a really good idea.  It’s like Mary Poppins telling the kids to make cleaning a game. 

Today I did some work, saw my Grandma and Grandpa, and did some research on space stuff by watching a recent transmission from the ISS.  I’m really tired, I should go to bed. 

Little Mister is getting better everyday.  Tomorrow is his last dose of painkillers.  I hope that’s all he needs.  He won’t let me open his mouth to see his teeth, so I take quick looks when he yawns. They look good though, and he is starting to realize his teeth are better and don’t hurt.

I’m still waiting for my transcript.  It’s been a while.  I might have to ask them tomorrow to fax it to me.  Which means I have to find a fax machine I can use.  I really want to get this application finished, it’s freaking me out!

I’m really really really tired!  I think I should go sleep.  I have a dentist appointment tomorrow.  I have to be there at 12:50pm.  I don’t want to sleep in!

Perked up

This morning Little Mister was VERY SAD!  He was walking around crying, I gave him his painkiller and antibiotic and after about an hour he was much happier.  Later today he was wagging his tail and being generally happy.  His teeth look so nice, whiter, brighter, and he has really nice breath.  He had such stinky breath before his teeth got done!  It’s amazing how different it is!

We got Grandma new clothes from The Bay.  Two sweaters and two pants.  She liked them.

When we were at the Bay I was standing by the MAC counter and ended up buying Ruby Woo.  It’s kind of funny, because the last time I got lipstick was when I was fourteen, and it lasted ten years.  So I anticipate this one will last just as long, since I hardly wear it.

I don’t really have good lips for lipstick.  My top lip is so thin.  I have Grandma’s lips.  Maybe I should get injections.  No, never mind, that’s not a good idea.

I’m waiting for my cheque to arrive, also I have started doing research for simulating weightlessness.  I originally wasn’t gonna do weightlessness in my film, but if I can come up with a simple solution I might revisit it.  I was reading about how they did the weightlessness on Big Bang Theory.  They were supported from a platform below and also the actors mimicked microgravity.

Think think think.

Being strapped in also makes things easier.

Tiny Hermione insisted on sleeping with me tonight, we were trying to get her to go sleep with Mom, but instead she made a bed in my room until I let her come onto my bed.  Poor Mum, I hope she doesn’t feel rejected.

I’m tired, I got up early to give Little Mister his medicine.  I should get to sleep so I can wake up and do it again tomorrow.  Also I have a meeting tomorrow afternoon. 

I’m also waiting for my transcript to come from ECUAD.  I need to scan it and upload it to Ryerson to finish my application.  It’s making me antsy.  Yikes!

Dentistry for Dogs

Little Mister went to the vet this morning, he got his teeth done.  They cleaned them and did a few extractions, one molar and some incisors which are the tiny front teeth.  I picked him up just after four, he was happy to see me, but when he got home he was mostly laying around with moist eyes like he was gonna burst into tears.  Poor little guy.  He’s on soft food for the next couple of weeks, and he’s got painkillers for the next three days and antibiotics for the next week, in addition to the last week of antibiotics.  He had a bandage from his IV fluids, I took it off tonight though because it was bugging him and he wasn’t bleeding anymore anyway.  The vet tech showed me his little teeth in a steel bowl, poor guy.  They said one just fell out because it was so bad.

I wish I had gotten his teeth done sooner, but I had to wait until I had money.  Sucks.

He was so groggy when we picked him up that I cancelled his grooming appointment until next week.  He also has another appointment to see the vet next week to check on how his gums are doing.

I hope he recovers soon.  They say dental work in senior dogs can really perk them up in the end.  Apparently it slows them down when they have that bacteria going around their bloodstream. 

He was such a sad guy before though, he was having trouble eating because his teeth hurt him.  Poor little guy! 

I’m glad he’s going to be able to enjoy life again.  I’m going to start brushing his teeth when he’s healed up.  Hopefully he’ll be able to eat hard food again.  Especially since my guilt over his bad teeth has lead me to buy him canned dog food that costs four bucks a can!  He’s getting some super gourmet shit! 

He got soft cheese for his snack tonight, I usually give him a cookie, but I thought he would appreciate something softer. 

In other news, I can’t talk too much about what is going on with my Grandma, but it looks like there will be a death in the family in the not too distant future.  I am spending more time with her, and we are trying to make sure she is comfortable.  She’s happy now that she knows we aren’t letting her get any more tests.  The doctors want to do this really invasive test on her, but we found out another elderly person died of shock getting that test, so we have not consented for her to get it.  I can’t really say much else, because I am keeping this business of dying to myself and her close family members.  But I am hoping she has a very peaceful end.  If she goes in her sleep that would be the best. She’s gotten so old and frail, and she is not having a very good quality of life.  So as hard as it is to say goodbye to my Grandma, I also am feeling better that she will finally pass away in the not too distant future.  I think it really hasn’t hit me yet, and I will probably be extremely sad when she does die.  Grief is a weird thing.  I might write more about it in another post, this one was mostly about Mister’s teeth, but I feel like I should be sort of open about what is going on in my life.

New Years Eve!

It’s gonna be a new year soon!  I am having a Not Very Exciting New Year’s Eve.  I think I’m gonna finish my laundry, wash my bedroom floor, ummmmmm.  We’re setting off fireworks at 7:30, then I am driving my friends to their event at 8 or 9.  Back home we’re gonna play board games and have the fireplace on.  Nice and cozy.

I’ve had a good year.  It had ups and downs, but it ended on a good note, getting my grant.

Ha ha, I got bored writing and just buggered off.  Guess I will finish now.

It’s a little over half an hour to midnight.  We set off fireworks and some bitchy neighbour threatened to call the cops, and we were like “Go ahead.”  Cause legally you are allowed to set them off on private property in the city limits on New Years Eve, Victoria Day, Canada Day, and Labour Day.  They were good fireworks but she was kind of a downer. 

I finished cleaning my room and washing the floor, and I did my laundry.  I have all clean clothes and clean sheets and stuff.  I dyed my hair again to refresh my pink.  We had a lackluster supper of chicken strips and french fries, because there is a four year old with a limited palate staying with us.  Everything you say to him about food he says “Yuck!”  He eats very little besides a few things.  And he’s super screamy.  Not even screamy, shrieky!  And squeally!  If something goes the slightest bit awry he starts squealling and complaining.

Little Mister has anxiety because this kid is staying with us.  He’s been following me around all day, getting under foot and always asking me to lift him up so he can snooze next to me.  He’s very sweet, but I feel badly that he doesn’t feel safe enough to just lay on his cushion in the kitchen, which is his favorite bed.  I guess it’s for the best.  Poor dude.  Maybe when the kid gets older and more mature Little Mister will be able to just relax.  Even now, the kid is asleep downstairs, and Little Mister is next to me in my chair.

Yesterday was awful.  I forgot to pick up my medications the day before from the pharmacy, so I was ALL OUT of meds.  I couldn’t sleep.  It was horrible.  I tossed and turned until 5:30am and then I gave up and got up and puttered around.  I stayed awake until midnight last night.  I got my meds so I am fine now, but sleep deprivation made me have a really short fuse.  And the kid was just talking the whole time, blah blah blah blah blah.  I didn’t yell at him but I got really frustrated, then my friend invited me out for dinner and a movie, so we went out.

The movie was the highly anticipated Blue Is The Warmest Colour.  It was three hours long.  The sex scenes made us laugh and my friend said “Shamay!” because they went on “fucking” for ten minutes and it was totally ridiculous.  Shamay is Saulteaux for “getting worse!”  The protagonist was completely unlikeable, played with her hair all the time, had terrible hair besides which needed a hairbrushing, ate with her mouth open, slept with her mouth open, and there was some weird motif of spaghetti dinners.  The only good part (spoiler) was when she finally got dumped by the lesbian, because she was so unlikeable and was a closeted cowardly whiney weasel.  I was like “GOOD! DUMP THAT BITCH!”  And then the movie kept going!  OH!  And there were these pretentious moments where characters talked to each other about ideas, like philosophy, and it was such a pile of crap.  And the lesbian was an artist and she painted and representations of artists are often bullshit, which it was.  Like when she talked about her paintings she talked about really surface stuff, like colour and lines, and I find artists usually talk about ideas and politics involved in their work.  SO it was just an awful movie all around.  Two thumbs way way down!

I’m done ranting now. 

I was a cabbie for about an hour.  Most of it I was waiting at my friend’s house for her and our other friend to get ready.  Then we started going to their destination, when my friend couldn’t find her id.  We went to a gas station to see if she left it there, then we had to go to her house so she could get her spare id.  Finally I dropped them off and came home, but on the way Mom called (I didn’t answer because I was driving) because she was wondering if I had decided to go out after all.

Anyway, that’s what’s been up.  I should go get my laundry.  Happy New Year all my beautiful blog readers!  I will keep writing!