Give Up!

Okay so first off I will say this is a total Too Much Information post about jerking off so if you are a relative or don’t want to know, stop reading!

I gave myself this great orgasm yesterday, but today it was terrible!  Four toys and porn and my battery died and I didn’t come.  Sad!  All that work for nothing.

I’ve got this new dildo and it’s kind of funny.  Because it’s really thick.  So when I’m trying to get it in it’s kind of intense.  First it’s like “Never gonna fit!  It won’t get in at all!” And then suddenly it’s in and it’s all like “Don’t move!  I gotta adjust to this!”  And then it’s really quite fun.  With a vibrator on my clit I don’t even need to do the in and out motion, it can just fill me up and sit there and get me off.  But like I said, my battery died this morning so it didn’t work out. 

There’s this funny point when you are giving up on masturbating to orgasm, like first maybe I will try a few other things, and then I just start accepting that nothing is happening right now.  Maybe my sexual fantasies are just drifting off to thinking about groceries I have to buy or what my friend said yesterday or some other Non Sexy thing.  And then it gets to me with a dildo up my cunt thinking “This is stupid, and I should give up.”  So maybe then I will get my laptop and look for porn.  I don’t know what porn I want to look at anymore.  I saw a bunch of stuff and I was like “Fuck!  This isn’t sexy!  It’s not working!” And then my dog will walk into the room and start crying and staring at me because he wants attention and is all alone in the house and you can’t get off with a crying sad dog in the room!  I mean, maybe YOU can, but I can’t!  Fuckit!  I’ve got a pile of toys on my bed and none of them worked!

At least I got to play with a happy dog in the end though.  Happy because I finally gave up jerking off. 

Isn’t that the pits though?  When domestic animals interrupt play time?  I remember when I had my cat Schrodinger and one time I had my head over the edge of the bed while I was jerking off because I was looking at a porno and then Schrodes just walked up to me and STARED!  And then he started sniffing my nose.  Boner killer!

Tonight I am gonna try nipple clamps for the first time.  I’m not sure it will work.  My nipples are kind of weird, they are inverted so they pull into themselves, and it’s impossible to coax them out.  I might just watch my nipple hide and the clamp fall off.  I got these things a long time ago and haven’t tried them until now!  I will report back!

I need to find good porn.  Porn with hot queers, diverse queers, POC and fat and some trans and some cis and all kinds of things!  I’m sick of looking at white girls taking on two dicks.  The One White Girl Two Dick era of my porn interests has ended.  And I don’t want to look at made for men lesbian porn because it’s too fake.  I might actually pay for porn because I know of some good queer stuff that is out there, but you have to pay.  I mean, sure, why not?  They should be compensated. 

I’m not really a porn enthusiast.  I’d rather read an erotic story and have something to imagine.  I’m super into imagination. 

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