Raging

I don’t know how long I didn’t have much of a sex drive, my libido was gone a LONG damn time.  I might be inclined to say it was diminished significantly for two years.  Anyway, the other day I was on the bus, and I was thinking all these sexy thoughts, memories of things in the past, fantasies of things in the future.  And it was driving me INSANE!  I was missing kissing and sex SO DAMNED MUCH!  I wanted my mouth on nipples and pussies and feeling girls from the inside with my whole hand and being filled up and humping and all kinds of things!  I was going NUTS!

So I was telling my cuz Deanna today “I don’t know what’s going on with me, I want sex and kissing and it’s making me INSANE!” And she said “Maybe your libido is back!”

And I think she is right!

So on one hand I want to be all “YAY!  I am horny hear me roar with wetness too great to ignore!”  On the other hand *womp womp* I am single.  Terminally single.  And there’s nobody on the horizon.  I even went to Take Back the Night hoping for some cute girls, but then I felt like a 35 year old OLD person.  So many politically aware girls doing their undergraduates.  And I feel too old for them.  So womp womp. 

I keep scanning OK Cupid and Plenty Of Fish but it’s the same folks on there and I don’t really get that spark.  Then again, it’s hard to tell if there is a spark just from someone’s online profile.  You sort of need to meet. 

Anyway, I was hoping to go to Indigo Girls and see a bunch of local lesbians, but I never got a ticket so I am out of luck because it’s fricken sold out!  And now I am poor again anyway since I paid my rent, groceries, phone bill (2 months of phone bill), got toiletries, 6 pairs of new socks, an iTunes card, fake beer, and some glow in the dark nail polish.  Tomorrow I should get some cash though, because I wrote an article for a local paper.  I hope!  I also have an honorarium coming up from the University, and GST comes on Friday.  AND I have to get in a travel grant on Tuesday for going to ImagineNATIVE! 

OOooooh!  Maybe I will meet someone in Toronto!  That would be nice!  I could have sex and get all hung up and have longing in my life again!  And skype sex!  Which I have never had so you know, there are always new things to look forward to! 

I’m so tired.  I should go to sleep soon so I can engage in some stress relief before I am too tired to do anything.  If ya know what I mean.

Side note: I have discovered in the past two weeks that my sense of smell has improved since quitting smoking almost a year ago to the point that body odor REALLY bothers me.  I mean seriously.  SERIOUSLY!  Some men are SOOOOOOO stinky!  And some perfume is too rank!  It’s starting to make me want to go for a walk instead of riding the bus.  For some reason it is always the bus that is the worst!

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