Monthly Archives: May 2013

One Year

So today (it’s only 16 minutes into today, but it is the 18th!) is my one YEAR anniversary of quitting drinking!  I can’t believe that much time has gone by!  It was awkward at first, and I felt bummed out that I couldn’t have fun in that way anymore.  BUT I also haven’t gotten pukey drunk in over a year and I saved a lot of money and my liver has gotten better.  All good things.  My relationship to alcohol has totally changed.  I have still been around drunks, but it’s been nice not drinking and being able to drive myself home whenever because I am still sober.

I don’t have much else to say about being dry for a year.  It’s just a good feeling to get to this point!  I’m pretty happy with myself.  I am even amazed that I went to Tribeca and was able to decline free mimosas!  So much free alcohol was being passed around, and I didn’t have any.  It was probably my biggest test of my sobriety!

I’m doing good in other ways.  My friend did friend me on facebook in the end, so that was nice.  I still miss her, and don’t know if I will ever see her again.  BUT there is a chance she might come to this screening of mine here during Pride, so that would be awesome.  I’m so nervous that I will be like Stan Marsh on Southpark and puke when I see her from nervousness!  But I don’t even know if I will see her.  Who can say?

I’m going to be applying for some grants this fall, aside from that there isn’t much going on in my life.  I think this summer will be super laid back, once I do these screenings and performance and stuff.  I’m looking forward to going camping and driving out in the country.  I’m thinking about getting a super part time job just to bring a little more money into my life.  Even one that paid two hundred a month would be a help.

Things could always change without much notice.  Life has a way of doing that.  I don’t know what the future will bring, but I am still looking forward to it.

Good, Bad, and the Velvet Rope

Well, Tribeca was awesome!!!! I know I haven’t written here in a while, I’ll just tell you some highlights to catch you up.

I went to three screenings of my film and three screenings of other films.  I got some good feedback from some audience members and other filmmakers.  I went to a filmmaker’s brunch and met some friendly directors, I also was ten feet away from Robert DeNiro AND Lil’ Bub!  My Mom went with me to a lot of the other events, we didn’t see any other celebs except at the awards night, we saw Whoopi Goldberg, Christine Baranski, and Mira Sorvino.  Also we saw Ron Howard’s daughter Bryce Dallas Howard on the red carpet! 

Besides doing film festy things, we also did a lot of shopping and I have a bunch of clothes now and two new bras and it is all really exciting.

And I had my 35th birthday in New York City and we went to the Grand Central Oyster Bar and had oysters on the half shell and swordfish steak with fake beer!  It was sweet!

I’ve been home since the 29th.  It’s been alright being back, but I had to say goodbye to a good friend who has moved across the country, which was sad although I am also happy for her and the sexy new adventures she is gonna have.  I also had enough of myfile on the York website saying No Decision Yet for my grad application, so I called the department and they told me I had been on the waitlist but in the end they didn’t take me, and they only admitted four people to the grad program this year.  So that was disappointing.

Then I got all frustrated and was all “I’m moving out of Mom’s house!”  And then I thought about it a bit more and realized I probably couldn’t find roommates who could deal with my dog not being fully housebroken and that 1000 a month really isn’t much to live on and I have a better deal at my moms.  I also realized Steven has stopped doing shitty things like listening to his music loud in the middle of the night and stuff.  So it’s not really a matter of saving my sanity to get away from him anymore.  And I’m tired of people judging me for living with my mom.  They make a lot of assumptions about it that aren’t true.  Like all the people who think I don’t pay rent.  I pay rent.  And I put in money for groceries.  And if I didn’t live with mom she would have to get another roommate anyway to cover her living costs.  And she and I get along really well.  I mean, we squabble, but it’s very minor most of the time.

Anyway blah blah blah.  I might live with Mom until I move in with a girlfriend.  Ha ha ha ha!  Actually I feel super shitty about my girlfriend prospects now that I have to stay in this stupid city.  There isn’t anyone I have a crush on besides She Who Will Not Be Named.  And she’s not even my facebook friend even though we have all this history, because she keeps something like 30 friends and it’s a bit of an exclusive club like with a velvet rope and all that.  OMG!  We actually saw one of those in New York on 17th Street.  There were people going halfway down the block in a line up and at the door were some discerning buff doormen picking and choosing people out of the crowd and people pleading and arguing with them and telling them they didn’t know this club was gonna be like this.  It was like a scene out of Party Girl.

Which reminds me, I did not see Parker Posey anywhere at Tribeca.  Oh well.

My Mom thinks she should arrange my marriage now, which is an old joke we’ve had for ages but now she has watched all these matchmaker shows and I am getting nervous.

I’m getting crabbier and crabbier lately.  I’m trying to be happier, but I have these cousins who keep taking advantage of me and my mom, and it’s stressing me out and making me grit my teeth and want to bitch them out.  One of them took one of my Mom’s Lush products, like just went into the drawer in the bathroom and stole it!  No asking if she could have it, nothing, just outright theft!  It really makes me not want to have her in my house.  And another one owes me 22 bucks and I have like, no money, and she was supposed to pay me back on Friday and now it’s technically Wednesday and I really doubt I’m gonna get it today.  And it just pisses me off.  SO fuck this shit!

I’m not lending money or buying food or drinks for anyone anymore.  If that means people hang out with me less that is okay, I can find other friends who can afford to go out.  I’m sick and tired of these fucking moochers.  Moochers! 

What else?  Well besides being crabby about that, I actually feel a bit hopeful.  I think I might have a good summer.  I’m trying to figure out what that looks like.  I think barbecues, camping, swimming, hot tubbing, things like that.  I have a performance in Prince Albert coming up, and a screening in Saskatoon.  So that’s good, I will get a little money.  I am thinking of putting it towards a tattoo.  The only thing that sucks about getting a tattoo is you can’t swim for a month after getting a tattoo, unless it’s in the ocean!  And you can’t hot tub either!  I would have to be willing to sacrifice a month and a half or so of swimming time if it takes two sittings to get this tattoo done!  I have to think about it.

We had eight months of snow.  It was brutal.  Eight fricken months!  Ugh!  That’s more than half the year!

Speaking of long time periods, on May 2nd was five months without a cigarette!  And on May 18 will be one year without alcohol!  And 16 months without weed! 😀  My record for being nicotine free was six months, so I have to go beyond it, but this is the first time I’ve been so close to it since 2007!  Pretty awesome!

Well, guess I should go sleep now.  So that’s been life, some good, some bad.