I’m working out later today, which makes me happy, but I am also happy about new developments with my video editing company, because I have a contract for a job! I met with my client today and went over the project and got the footage to import and the price was agreeable to her and so IT’S ON! This means several good things. One: I don’t have to dip into my living allowance to pay for my company’s MacBook Pro. Two: I will be able to afford to get Final Cut Pro X and renew my Incorporation for the year (I incorporated last year on Valentines Day!). And Three: I will be able to pay my web designer, who also did my logo and business cards, and we will both be happy! Besides that when I get paid all the money I will be able to put some more into equipment for my business and save up some for future pay cheques to myself. I have to make a living and my income is only guaranteed until the end of July. So I hope more work comes in and hopefully at the end my client will let me use an excerpt for my reel on my website. ‘Cause I don’t think it’s very enticing for a video editing company to not have a reel on their website.
For the first time in a long while I feel optimistic about my company. I have crappy credit so I wasn’t able to get a loan, but a while ago at the last meeting with the people at Praxis School of Entrepreneurship one of the people said I should use my companies income to purchase capital. But it was always a bit of a chicken and egg thing: I needed equipment to do work but I couldn’t get the equipment unless I had work. UGH! But financially things have been going my way these days, which is a relief!
I’m so happy that I almost feel manic, although I know I am not because I have been diligent about taking my medication and I am not having bizarro thoughts of being uber special or things like that, getting messages, blah blah blah. Things are just working really well for me right now.
I think finally quitting pot has really helped. It would make me depressed and focus on the bad things in life, and my self esteem as a pot head wasn’t good either. This clear feeling is miles better than the stoned feeling actually, I don’t have that sense of guilt hanging over my head. And my feelings are REAL. It’s a little weird adjusting to having emotions that aren’t dulled and hazy. It’s only been 8 days, I think at 14 days I will start noticing more differences, because that will be a long time, for me, to be clean.
Exercising has been really good for me too, I was always told it was a good mood stabilizer, but I never got into it, probably because I was smoking up and too lazy and apathetic to get to the gym or go for long walks. It increases my confidence too, to know I can go through a full body workout on the elliptical for fifteen minutes, or to do five minutes on the treadmill at 3.5 mph before going back down to 3 mph for ten. It’s nice to set these little goals and actually reach them.
Now I am going to be using my brain for work, which also makes me feel pretty good. I get to exercise my creativity and logic and all those cerebral things involved in editing. And clearly being clean is REALLY good for that.
I hope this works out. I would hate to look for a J.O.B. job. Working for myself feels pretty good, although realistically I acknowledge my clients are my bosses while I’m doing a contract. My psychic once said I would live a comfortable life. So maybe I really will finally be able to be an editor, like I always wanted! It’s my all time dream job.
I’m seeing my psychic soon! Woooooooooooooooo! I am so curious to find out what she has to say about my life now that all these things have happened in the last five years!
I still want to make a five year plan. I really should do that.