It’s an hour after the end of November 6th and I have surpassed my goal of getting 7000 words done, I am now sitting at a comfortable 8014 words. Still behind the daily goals, I didn’t write at all for a few days because I didn’t know what to write, and then I wrote over five thousand words yesterday. I stayed up until five in the morning doing it and totally fucked myself over because at Noon we had to go out and finish dropping off Judy Junor’s leaflets. We also did some Data Entry at the Campaign Office this afternoon, and then we had dinner with my cousin and her boyfriend and visited for a bit, so I had a really late start on my writing. But I made it! 😀 I am going to work really hard on getting it all out.
I’ve decided to write about my lived experiences with Bipolar. I went to a coffeeshop on Saturday afternoon and wrote for a few hours and then came home and typed it up. I had just typed in the last word when my foot hit the power bar and it shut the computer down. What followed was some loud swearing and frantic messing about trying to get the computer to work. The computer was being really slow starting up because it had been turned off so rudely. It kept freezing at the login screen and making me anguished. I had written three pages! Nooooo! I didn’t want to spend an hour retyping the whole thing again. But lucky for me the auto recovery worked and I only had to retype the last paragraph.
I’m behind in where I should be, I should have finished 10,002 words today to be on target for getting 50,000 by the end of the month. But I can do some more marathon writing sessions. I wrote about when I got my heart broken and made myself cry. Which is funny, because I cry so rarely. It was cathartic I think. It was a silent cry, tears streaming down my face as I tickety tacked typed. It was good, even though it gave me a big lump in my throat.
I’m excited to be writing, although I know it’s all jumbled up and will need some revisions once the month is up. I’ve never tackled such a huge goal in such a short time. I’ve got sixteen pages now, although it is divided up into chapters so a couple pages only have one paragraph on them.
Tonight I was standing outside smoking and thinking and remembered that I am (if all goes according to plan) going to Australia and Germany next spring and summer respectively. BIG TRIPS! I have never been to Australia before, and I am pretty excited. This blog is one of the things that is going to be featured as part of the reason I am out there, along with some videos. I’ve never had anyone want to show my blog as a valid art project. I’m curious how it will be received.
Oh man my back aches, I am not sitting right when I write, I write all hunched over and fuck myself over. I need to practice better writing posture, more relaxed writing posture.
I need to fall in love again, with someone new who is actually a possibility. I’m tired of being in love with someone who doesn’t want to be with me, even if she does love me. I will always love her, but I need a more active love, someone who wants to have sex and live together and get married and have back rubs and who I can take care of and who will take care of me until we are both dead and cremated. I’d like to have a girlfriend I can introduce to my grandparents, because they are in their 90’s and on the way out and I really want them to meet a sweetheart of mine. They never have met any of my other lovers.
I’m thinking of doing Script Frenzy in April, where you write a script all month, it’s an offshoot of NaNoWriMo. Although I might be in Australia for a couple of weeks then and spending time in another country writing doesn’t appeal to me when I could be doing a bunch of other things. They also have a challenge where they invite you to tackle a big life goal over the course of a year. I am thinking of giving that a shot, but I have no ideas what I want to do.