Monthly Archives: July 2011

Writing then getting tired while waiting

My Dad is in town and I got a message many hours ago that he was in a cafe and since then I haven’t heard anything from him! WTH? It’s not like he could get lost, it is Saskatoon. You just follow the river and you will find somewhere again.

Well anyway. I have to write two pages about the progress of my business. Which hasn’t progressed much at all. I did learn some things about my craft, and how to run a business, and how to not run a business. And I do still want it to take off, and I am pretty sure it will, eventually. So I don’t know how to make that sound good. I have been keeping my eyeballs peeled on job ads and I just tonight found one that involves my writing and film/videomaking skills. Sooo, I am going to apply for it, and they are particularly looking for people with disabilities, which is a plus. I should find out about my grant around the time they are calling people back for interviews. It would be nice to actually apply my film school training to a job. I think that could make me happy. It would keep my brain active. So that is the immediate future.

I think it would pay decently too, which would be nice. I could use a decent pay cheque. It would be nice to make enough to put a down payment on a house. I really want to own my own place. I will eventually. I just need 300,000 dollars! Canadian! Not even American!

Something is going to happen, something positive. Who knows what it will be. I have to write more. But it ain’t gonna happen!

So I guess I will see Dad after 1:30 tomorrow? That’s silly. Oh well. Good thing I have all morning to write. I will be extra attentive!

Waiting is terrible!

I am so horribly broke right now. I need to find some receipts and turn them in for some money back. But where did I put them? They are in the house for sure SOMEWHERE! I will find them, I WILL!

Anyway. Oh yeah, and I was supposed to get an artist fee. Where’s that? I bet I made 35 bucks!

Which is still more than I have right now.

And I am waiting, totally nervous, for the results of my grant. I am trying to remember how the packaging looks different, or does it? I don’t remember! I should take notes on it this time, like if they use a fancy envelope and if they mail my support material back. But it’s kind of silly, because by the time you see the Canada Council package, you open it so you know right away.

My Mum calls my art career money Magic Beans. She says to me “Are you counting on Magic Beans again?” The sad part is it’s true, they are magic beans! But sometimes I get money to make a big piece of art. And it’s really nice. Or I get decent artist fees. But I will never be able to sell a video for a million dollars. At least, no one has offered to pay that much. Matthew Barney sells his videos for megabucks. How does he do it?

Whatever. I really want to make some more art soon. It’s good for the soul. I start feeling all clogged up if I don’t make art on a regular basis, it’s worse than not crying. Ugh, artists block sucks.

I need to make some small videos. About what, I don’t know. I have some really nice footage I have been collecting. But I don’t know what to do with it. I made something that looked nice, but then I had issues with the software. And anyway, Final Cut Pro is releasing a new version that old files won’t work on. Which is kinda cruddy if you ask me.

Alien technology I bet! And it surely won’t work on my old computer. I need a new computer. A Macbook.

I just ate the best saskatoon pielette!

Good Times for Thirza in Berlin!

So I had an awesome time in Berlin. People liked the Queer Youth program I curated, and they really liked my videos at my retrospective. I spent time with lots of friends drinking lots of german beer and hanging out at the festival and then going to museums and out for coffees and beers and dinners with all kinds of people I know there. And I didn’t misplace my passport and I made my flights home, except for the one from Toronto to Saskatoon. And I was pretty wiped from travelling all day already and nearly burst into tears after missing my flight because of having to pick up my bag at customs and not being able to find where it goes and having to wait in line to drop it off and then the security person went through all my stuff looking for a pocketknife which turned out to be a wrist restraint. I was kind of wondering if that was a good or bad idea to put in there. But the next flight to Saskatoon was only 3 hours later.

I want to go back! There is a place in Hamburg which offered me a residency, and that is fairly close to Berlin. Soooo, I am thinking about it. It might be nice to go there when I have to do all this editing on my next project. Like just work on it here and finish it over there. Hmmmm. I am thinking about it anyway.

I can see why so many Canadians I know keep going to Berlin, it is kind of addictive.

I have lots of stories from there that I am not going to tell on my blog, because they are kind of personal in a way I generally don’t share on my blog. But I have some pretty sweet memories now! 😀

So what else? KLM food is kinda gross. These other Canadians coming home from Kenya were asking “What does KLM mean? Did they just pick three letters in the alphabet?” They asked the stewardess who said some complicated thing in dutch and then said it meant Royal Dutch Airlines. But the alcoholic drinks are free. I actually didn’t drink booze at all on the way home, and I could hardly sleep because those chairs pinch my tailbone fat. I just watched the map showing us flying over the Atlantic ocean. We weren’t close enough to Greenland to look at all those glaciers though. I think if I was on the other side of the plane I could have maybe seen part of Iceland.

They have little fridges in Berlin, like what North Americans would call a bar fridge. And they don’t have dryers.

It is a little dodgy eating there if you don’t know the good places because there seems to be a lot of bad food, not sick making food, just bad blah food. BUT my friends did take me to some good places, and the food at the festival was really good.

I am happy to be home with my Little Mister. I really missed him. But I knew he was okay, because he was still with the other two dogs and Beatrix Kitty and Mum.

I missed the opening night of the last Harry Potter because I was in Germany. I am going to see it tonight! Exciting! Yay! We are seeing it in an AVX Theatre. I have never been in one before. But I got to use only 500 scene points to get my ticket! Yay!

Queen of the Last Minute

I got my plane ticket, today, and it was only 100 bucks more than I had planned on paying. I was so freaked out, I hate leaving things to the last minute. I am leaving for Berlin next Wednesday for a festival and then my retrospective the next weekend. I am pretty excited, and nervous, and generally wigged out. There are some folks out there I am stoked about seeing and the beer is so cheap. I think that part is a trap. The beer part. They are giant beers too so I can’t count them very well since they are bigger than in Canada.

Almost as big as a Fin Du Monde.

I have to get some more stuff ready before I go, but now that I have a plane ticket I feel a lot less anxious. I hate checking fares everyday and watching them climb up and up and up.

I tried to go with Air Canada but it would have been 2500 bucks! WTF? That’s like going to Australia!

I am going to Australia in the next year. I am nervous about that too, because if I am going that far for a show I should really spend at least two weeks travelling about down there. And it is a pretty big country. I will probably stick to the southern coast. I want to see penguins in the wild. And Kangaroos. And all the toads.

And I am also worried about getting homesick, and forgetting to take my meds and going slightly manic or depressed. It’s a lot to be worried about. But I shouldn’t worry. It’s all going to be great and I am going to have so much fun. I won’t even miss my plane this time. I will be okay. I think I am going to pick up some melatonin for the jet lag and see if it works as well as my shrink says.

My psychiatrist doesn’t need to see me very often anymore. Surprisingly the last time I saw her was in February! That’s a long time ago! And I didn’t really need to see her until now either.

I have to remember to pick up all my prescriptions, including my next pack of period control pills.

It’s Canada Day tomorrow and I am drinking a Japanese beer. Shameful. Tomorrow Mom and I are going to Earls and eating and drinking big Hoegardens, which isn’t very Canadian either.

I was trying to find someone to hang out with tonight, but I couldn’t, so I walked to the liquor store and bought myself three Sapporos. Today was my sisters birthday so we had pizza with Grandma and Grandpa. She is spending the night, which is nice. Especially when she winds down and just wants to lay on the couch. After all the interesting food is gone.

The dogs ate her Marshmallows and because I am a Queen of the Last Minute I wasn’t prepared with an alternate present than marshmallows. But I think she doesn’t care.