Live to be Happy

I’m really coming out of my depression now, and it’s nice. I’ve got one week left of work then I get to be a full time artist for the rest of 2008! I’m so stoked. I’m going to be getting a new Camera, and that’s exciting too. Right now I’m planning on getting the 24p HDV from Sony, with XLR inputs and everything! My first real camera. I hope to make tons of videos with it.

On the lady front not much is happening. I did make a tremendous discovery that lesbians tend to hang out at Lydia’s on Wednesdays and sometimes Tuesdays, and I was cruising a cute blonde there last week. I think I’m finally ready to be in a relationship, so I’m enjoying cruising the cuties. I really want something serious to happen finally.

In a month I’m turning 30. This is a huge step for me, because when I was a teenager I was sure I would commit suicide before turning 30. My 20’s were okay, but learning to live with a disability like manic depression kicked the shit out of some of my fun.

I’m seriously considering Burning Man this year, but I’m not sure I’ll have the cash to go. I really really want to though, because I’ve never been.

I’m getting some new piercings soon. I’m going to pierce my lip and get my hood repierced. I’m excited about that. I always liked my hood piercing, it was a very pleasureable part of my life, except for when it would twist itself in my pants and leave me screaming to the bathroom.

I’ve realized I have to renew my committment to blogging. I haven’t been a very good blogger this year, mostly because I was in recovery for much of 2007. God, except for one sexy thing that happened, 2007 was a bad year for me. Manic episodes pretty much write off a year of your life. Bleh!

My cousin had a manic episode this past month and ended up in the hospital. She’s doing loads better though, and I’m proud of her for accepting her diagnosis and working on it. It’s hard to accept being bipolar because it automatically means your life is kinda up in the air all the time.

As for me, the meds are working even better than before my episode. My psychiatrist is great, my psych nurse is great, and I feel like my old self again. I feel like I can have ambition again, and that is sexy.

I’ve always been very ambitious, even as a child. Now I have a fully written screenplay under my belt and am working on a half hour documentary. I’ve been talking to people about my new project and it’s given me some great ideas. I’m thinking of applying to the NFB for funds to travel to Asia and see where the Crees come from. Grampa thinks we did migrate over the Bering Strait because there is a myth about a man following two women over the ice. So I’m going to get him to tell me that story on camera.

I still miss my last girlfriend, she was pretty special. I don’t know what else to say. A manic episode stepped into the way of what was a very sexy special relationship. When I went manic I bought her an engagement ring, we took it back (they were very nice) and got all my money back, then because I was still manic I took that money and bought a keyboard, which is currently laying beside me unplayed, I am selling it off. I should have bought a guitar. Actually I should have paid my rent, but tell that to a manic person.

It was a nice ring too, it had three diamonds and was white gold. It was awesome. I wish I had a diamond ring, but I’d only want one if I was married. And I want to be married. I’m a marrying kind of girl. I can’t even imagine being with someone if there wasn’t marriage in the cards. Apparently bipolar people tend to marry other bipolar people, but that sounds like double the trouble!

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