Bree Van De Kamp’s First Orgasm EVER!

If you missed the premiere of Desperate Housewives last night you missed a fuckin’ CLASSIC Bree moment. Remember the sex scene that was gossiped about when it was released on Youtube and then taken down? Well, as it turns out it was oral sex, which made Bree squeal, jump out of bed, and run to the doctor convinced she had a stroke, describing this pleasurable spasm she felt. When the doctor said it was probably an orgasm she said “Oh no, I’ve had those lots of times, that warm tingly feeling, the relief that it’s over.” Oh man Bree, this explains SO much about you. Yup, her first orgasm, and it’s with a murdering murderer. (He killed his wife! He killed her parakeet! He ran over MIKE!) Damn. I don’t want her to date yet ANOTHER murderer, but now that Orson’s given her an orgasm she’s gonna be hooked!! Aw, maybe Gabby will buy Bree a Hitachi Magic Wand to save her from a disasterous marriage.

Anyway, this clip isn’t Bree’s first orgasm (I’m waiting for it to get posted, believe me), but it’s a pretty juicy promo music video of this whole next season.

Oooh, and I also heard a rumour Bree’s gay son Andrew is coming back (yay!) and it will turn out he’s been supporting himself as a gay porn star since his mom left him by the side of the road.

I feel badly for women who have never orgasmed. I had my first orgasm at an embarrassingly young age (self induced ya perv), I wonder why it’s so hard for women to learn how to come. And why are heterosexual men so stupid that so many have no clue how to satisfy a woman? Questions questions.

So the moral of the blog is, go have an orgasm tonight and send loving orgasm energy out to women like Bree Van De Kamp.

****MEH! This came in TODAY from Youtube. It took like, a week and a half!!! WTF. Anyway, update, Andrew will be coming back as a hustler (so the rumour goes) this Sunday. I have no other DH news. And a bazillion other posts I sent from Youtube showed up today, but since I already posted them I deleted them all. So if you came here and saw a great big mess, blame Youtube.

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