Monthly Archives: May 2006

Message from a Scraling

This place is a message… and part of a system of messages… pay attention to it!
Sending this message was important to us. We considered ourselves to be a powerful culture.
This place is not a place of honor…no highly esteemed deed is commemorated here… nothing valued is here.
What is here is dangerous and repulsive to us. This message is a warning about danger.
The danger is in a particular location… it increases toward a center… the center of danger is here… of a particular size and shape, and below us.
The danger is still present, in your time, as it was in ours.
The danger is to the body, and it can kill.
The form of the danger is an emanation of energy.
The danger is unleashed only if you substantially disturb this place physically. This place is best shunned and left uninhabited.

This is a message being conveyed at Yucca Mountain, one of the biggest sites of nuclear waste. This message has to be created in a form which humans or other life forms 10 000 years into the future will understand, irregardless of how advanced or primitive (hate that word). (wrap your brain around that one!) If that’s not scary enough, listen to this. The Shoshone, who have been contesting the nuclear waste site, have a legend that “tell[s] of Yucca Mountain (known as Snake Mountain) and how the snake would rise up as a horrific serpent if it were ever harmed.” It’s also the site of Shoshone and Paite prayer rings, burial grounds, and sacred waterways. Of course. I mean, talk about the set up for a gory horror movie starring a zombie Graham Greene on a horse.

“This land was sacred to my people since time immemorial, and now I want to EAT YOUR BRAINS!!!!”

Currently the plan is to architecturally construct the site in a very forboding manner, involving large thorny concrete spikes, large black looming rocks, and a sort of unmanned interpretive centre in all UN languages and Navajo (apparently the Shoshone and Paite will be gone by then).

If you think that’s awful, consider this fact. Mount Rushmore, with those looming white man faces, is considered a sacred site by the Lakota. And it was good for their ar-thur-itis too. Actually, I just made that last part up.

But if you want to know something really trippy, Vikings called us scralings. Scralings, isn’t that hilarious? It’s like something out of Lord of the Rings or a really bad text video game.

Hands up all the queer girls who are ogling the Pepsi commercial

Last year around this time I wrote about Parker Posey’s sexiest moment as the bitchy senior who sprays the freshmen girls down with condiments. Now I add her latest achievement, the Pepsi commercial. I would never call Pepsi commercials an achievement normally, but she is so freakin’ cute in it. Someone said she looked dorky, I guess she makes dorky kinda hot though.

I’ve gotten hooked to the freakin’ ad, and everytime I hear the jingle I drop whatever I’m doing and stand slack jawed in front of the television set drooling. And apparently I’m not the only one.

In honour of Parker Posey day (which I have just made up), here is a series of links. If you’re a Parker Posey fan, you might find some of the links probative.

The commercial in it’s entirety Although it sucks that Parker Posey doesn’t come in until later, it does show some new Parker Posey Pepsi footage, oo la la. Including someone shoving her! That makes two terrible things to befall our heroine in one ad, the second being when that idiot man throws her up into the air and she doesn’t come back. It would have been cooler if it ended with her booting him in the groin and taking his wallet. Any other suggested alternative endings, please post them in the comments section.

If you have not heard of Parker Posey you have obviously been living under a rock. But there’s the Wikipedia entry for her.

At my graduation screening I was in the middle of a mixed episode, and screamed out to the audience “Hey! This isn’t Josie and the Pussycats!”

An old friend who lived in the same crack neighborhood as I saw Parker Posey in our neighborhood park where the crack dealers hung out. And maybe you’re thinking “Oh no, she was probably doing something more innocuous and movie star-ish like cocaine or marijuana,” but believe me, all they sell there is crack. The only other thing people go to that neighborhood for is to visit the art centres. Drug trade, art, due to economic circumstances the two seem to go together. Who knows, maybe Parker Posey was just hanging out in a scary neighborhood. She didn’t dance down the street or anything wild.

On a googling expedition I discovered this lovely stanza under the promising title “Parker Posey cum”:
Parker Posey cum
Parker Posey lesbian
u several in they’re etc.
ours eg nor j.
with has where’s
latter masturbation had becoming
except end otherwise k co her
Parker Posey ..

Happy Parker Posey Day!

Survival Tactics

In the wild, animals hide their pains, injuries, and illnesses so that they won’t be dinner for various carnivourous megafauna. As humans, we’d like to think we are different, but this is so not the case. Especially for those of us with invisible disabilities. Although we’re entitled to accommodations, we still try REALLY hard to act normal. Crazy people especially (such as moi) have to behave impeccably well to not be percieved as lacking in the skills and wherewithall to get through life. If our disability is getting obvious, or we’re starting to have a breakthrough episode, it gets really hard. It’s not so much that people care what you’re thinking or feeling, it’s that people want your behavior to not interfer with their lives. Also, if you’re in deep emotional pain, you could get passed over for that promotion, that job, that apartment, etc etc. People don’t like to be around crazy people because either a) they don’t know how to deal with a crazy person, or b) they think you’ll kill them.

Not only that, but to be publically identifiable as someone dealing with mental health issues means you’re also prey for any of the millions of human predators out there, be they sexual predators, violent predators, or even a certain dude I know who twice tried to steal my apartment and possessions and toss me into the street. You get stuck in slum housing in a rough neighborhood working a low paying job, or worse, living on the meager amounts disability pays. I think stigma plays a huge role in the fact that a large number of people with mental health issues are living on the streets or in rundown buildings.

And then you might want to survive by not telling anyone that you have an invisible disability. But what about the sick days you’ll have to take at some point when meds need to be changed? Or if you have to go to the hospital? What about that uncomfortable abusive feeling you get when someone starts talking shit about crazy people?

I’m still coming out of a depressive episode, a rather mild one really, but still totally fucked and horrid. But I only thought about suicide for one hour, and that was a new record for me. Unfortunately I did think about cutting, which is something I’ve only ever done once five years ago. I still feel pretty crummy, and I know it will be another week before I’m operating at full capacity. So I wear the happy face. Not because I am happy, or that I feel I should be happy, but just because if it looks like my episode is as bad as it really is people will get pissed off and I’ll probably get hassled a lot by people who want me to snap out of it.

It’s just a survival strategy, don’t show weakness.