My 12 Inch Stapler

Yo dude, check out my twelve inch stapler! It’s long, hard, and heavy, and it has purple staples.

Okay, so maybe it’s not that exciting, but it sure was pricey, as far as staplers go. I’m awake late and tomorrow I get to see one of my best friends/ex lover after years of being on the other side of the continent from her. She’s here for a few weeks, just as all this school stuff is finishing. But of course I’m gonna make time to see her, I don’t know when I’ll get the chance again. She didn’t bring her man with her, which sort of disappointed me because I wanted to scope him out and make sure he was the right dude for this lady.

Some lesbians get really upset when their ex lovers go on to have partners that are male. Like they’ve been betrayed, like it’s the equivalent of their ex saying pussy’s really stanky compared to dick. Or that they’ve sold out for hetero privillege. Or easy access to sperm. Some lesbians operate on a strict no-bisexual policy, and then wouldn’t you know it, their ex lover falls in love with a man anyway.

Personally, I like dating bisexuals. I like playing with my gender in the bedroom, being a dual gendered person. Two of my ex’s have gone on to settle down with male partners, and the other two ex’s settled down with female partners, and they’re all happy with their choices. I didn’t get picked, but whatever. I’m more or less content with my ex’s remaining ex’s. That sounds like a support group!

Ex’s Remaining Ex’s, 6pm, Community Centre, bring your baggage, snacks of bitterness provided.

Really though, I think my longstanding (since grade eleven! Woot!) preference for bisexual women stems from this desire to be recognized as both male and female, and to be desired for it. Besides that, bisexuals are freaking hot, boys and girls. Period.

Now I’m going to go play with my 12 long inches.

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